Saturday, December 21, 2019

4 days 'till Christmas!



       I have really enjoyed getting those weekly texts from MOPS international, specially the very last one it said “Xmas is in 8 days. Pick your battles, say yes to cake for breakfast! Whatever does not get done, its OK. You’ve got this mama (aka Santa)!” Like it literally cracked me up because that day I remember trying to make Christmas cookies with my girls and it was complete chaos like flour battleship attack/forgot to add ingredients to the recipe chaos. I was about to quit and just throw away the stuff when I saw the smile on my girls with fingers full of raw cookie dough and my little one literally licking the mixer beaters ( I was not done mixing) straight off the bowl. That Is when memories are made when you stop and really breath in all those little “wonder faces” that will soon be gone.

    I love our mentor moms they bring so much raw wisdom to our meetings. Do what works for you this holiday season it will probably be different each year. Some you will feel like you are rocking it and some you won’t (probably most lol) but that is OK! So today is 4 days until Christmas and If the elf forgot to move itself last night its OK, bought cookies instead of making them its OK! (probably better anyway) if you didn’t get to do Christmas cards its OK, if you are not done Christmas shopping its OK, if your house is 50% gift wrap 50% clothes all over the place its OK, just remember you are not alone.  So with that said, I have officially lowered my expectations for this holiday season and the future ones coming of my role as “Santa” and will be more forgiving on myself of those disaster memory making attempts of traditions we often attempt to conquer remember your kids will love you anyway even if you did not get to finish marking everything off your list.

Disclaimer: If you got Christmas cookies from me this year I am sorry! ( just kidding they actually turned out pretty good to my surprise and don’t worry I did wash their hands and mixer beaters haha!)

~Alis~

Thursday, December 5, 2019

What type of friend do you want to be?

         I have always admired the way little kids make friends.  I took my girls to the park the other day and there was this other mom at the park with 2 other little girls and in a matter of 10 minutes my girls had each made their new best friends. They were planning playdates and their next outing to the park, while their mom and I had only politely said hi to each-other. 

        Many of you know that I did not grow up in Modesto. I moved from Guatemala when I was 15 years old, right at the middle of me trying to “find myself and find my people,”  but even then friendships were hard. I was bullied most of my elementary years. Yes, I was that kid that ate her lunch inside of the restrooms because I wanted to just get away. Then boom! I moved hundreds of miles away from those toxic relationships to a foreign country and no friends. I pretended I did not speak English for the first year of high school. I used to say it was fun to pretend not to understand, but really I was just afraid of getting hurt. My second year of high school was some-what better, I was able to find 3 nice girls that were part of my high school years. In a blink of an eye we were seniors and we graduated high school and life changed! 

           When I got married, I didn’t even want to have bridesmaids just thinking of not having who to ask made me think, “friends suck!” can I just ask my mom to be my maid of honor? Because she is pretty amazing! Then as a new mom seeing all these put together moms at story time going in groups and talking, socializing with each other made me feel very sad like why can I keep a decent friend around for longer than a year? 

           Throughout these drastic life changes I came to realize that yes friendships do come in seasons, but it really is up to us to put the heart and time into our relationships. I truly believe mops helps you find those women who truly have your back! The kind that would totally stop what they are doing to listen to you, stop and pray if needed. I want to be that kind of friend. I started to focus less on the kind of friend I wanted to have but focusing more on the type of friend I want to be. I want to be able to give hugs without expecting one in return. Most importantly, I want my girls to see that person and for them to want to be that type of friend as they grow up. 

                The video we watched last week was like a big slap in the face, like I have been looking for a friend without first examining myself of the type of friend I have been. Yes, its true my life has had some crazy drastic life changes that have made it extremely difficult for me to keep friendships. I have also been around friendships that are toxic and better left to be a thing of the past, but if we are being totally honest, I think there have been stages in my friendship life that I could have tried harder, I could have kept trying, I could have hugged more, I could have been there more, or I could have said sorry and forgiven as well.  

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 says “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor “9Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: 10If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.” Lets be the type of friend that lifts each other up. I want to be that friend that If you fall I fall and we get back up together. Lets all strive to have friendships to the full. 

    Today, as I have been reflecting on my friendships I can for sure say I am in a different season. Mops has been a great part of that, and only time will tell where these friendships blossom but I do feel more prepared to be a better friend. I can tell you that I am still “finding my people” so far I have been able to meet a great group of ladies that love Jesus, they encourage me, and challenge me to be a better friend and I want to be part of that. I encourage you today to be a bolder friend, a more loving friend, a friend that is just simply there.

~Alis~

Thursday, November 21, 2019

Jesus Always Shows Up

Hi fellow MOPS Mamas!

I just got home from our Make & Mingle Meeting and fed my toddler toast for lunch, that's where we're at in her development if you were wondering. She eats only what she wants so I give in for breakfast and lunch, although she did eat about 12 orange slices so I call that a win!

This morning I did not want to get out of bed and when I went to wake up 4 sleeping girls at 7am none of them wanted to get up. I heard "can we just stay in bed today?" and "it's too cold to get out of bed and go to school!" And you know what I totally agreed with them, in fact I just really wanted to stay home today and have a lazy day. But we all piled in the mini van and made it to school on time.
Holiday, my toddler, and I made it to Mops on time and I sent her sassy pants to class and sat at my table ready to relax. Well it turned out our table had childcare duty. 
I knew I hadn't done it yet, so when I was asked if I wanted to do it I must admit I really didn't want to and I even used this blog as an excuse. Instantly I felt the Holy Spirit nudge my heart and I knew I needed to go. I headed over to the infant room and all the babies seemed pretty happy, but there was one who was clearly not. He was pretty upset and I really just thought that he should go be with his Mama. Ms. Avenila handed him right to me and said " Hold him, he will like you, you look like his Mom." Sure enough we settled into the rocking chair and he was soon quiet and very cuddly. It was a very sweet time of rocking a baby that my kids have outgrown. Just to sit there and rock this precious boy was exactly what I needed. Turns out it was exactly what he needed too. After my 40 minutes were up, he popped up and was ready for snack and ready to be social again. Same for me!

  These are the little treasures God gives us. He is showing us in the smallest ways He is caring for us and He knows exactly what we need. I am amazed at His love for me and His gentle reminders that He's got us. He knew I needed some respite before heading into that meeting and I didn't.

After returning to the meeting I was refreshed and ready to chat. It was a great meeting to craft, outbid each other and connect. I won a beautiful casserole carrier and Amy's coveted olives! Score!
I'll leave you all with this reminder....

The Eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms.
Deuteronomy 33:27

Hope you take some moments to breathe today and notice Him, because Jesus always shows up. Even if we don't want to get out of bed.

Monday, November 4, 2019

Fear vs. Faith Based Parenting

At our Last meeting we had the pleasure of having Jeff and Regina Cleek speak about faith-based parenting vs. fear-based parenting. Jeff and Regina Cleek teach the Growing Kids God’s Way class here at Big Valley Grace. It was a pleasure to have them and glean some Godly wisdom!

I am going to copy some of the notes for those of you who missed and so that we have a nice concise list to review and reflect on.

What does fear-based parenting look like?

  1. When we are fearful we tend to over punish or under punish for behaviors.
  2. When we are fearful we look o the world’s humanistic solutions and worldly philosophies.
  3. When we are fearful we are more concerned with correcting external behavior to the neglect of their eternal heart.
  4. When we are fearful we are concerned that they will reject us.
  5. When we are fearful we tend to push them to please us rather than God.

What does faith-based parenting look like?

  1. We are to go to God’s Word for wisdom and instruction. 

  2. We are to instruct, appeal, and train to the heart of our children. 

  3. We are to parent within the funnel. 

  4. We are to recognize we are disciplining our children to the Glory of God. 


Honestly, friends, before we can even talk about parenting, we have to address something else. All of the parenting wisdom comes straight from the Bible. So, with that being said, we are going to have a hard time modeling and training our kids up to love the Lord if we ourselves do not know God’s word and how to apply it. We have got to be intentional about spending time with the Lord in prayer and in the Bible. God’s word is God’s will. If we want to know God’s will for our lives and God’s instructions for training our kids, we have got to dig into God’s word.


I am constantly asking God to work in my heart to mold me and shape my behavior to be useful to Him. I want to glorify God in all that I do. Colossians 3:23 says, “Whatever you do, work at it with your whole heart, as working for the Lord, not for men.” Then you take that and apply it to this. It’s like a double whammy! “Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.” (Col 3:12-14)

 
That always hits the nail on the head for me. If I am not seeing the behaviors in my children that I desire, it is pretty easy to figure out why. I have not modeled it to them. Ouch. This usually leads me deeper into God’s word and into prayer. My attitude changes pretty quickly and so do the attitudes of my dear little stinkers.
But seriously, I struggle with patience and grace all the time. Homeschooling must be God’s answer to this prayer. Lol. He’s like, here! This’ll give you plenty of opportunities to work on that grace and patience you are constantly praying for!


There was one thing that Jeff and Regina didn’t speak specifically about but I am going to take a little liberty to share with you. Being generally fearful as a parent. I know it’s not specifically tied to parenting but I want you to see how God can work when we switch from fear to faith. I don’t get too caught up in fear of rejection or teaching my kids worldly philosophies. I get caught up in fear for my children’s health and safety. It has led me to realize that I like to control things. HA! Me?! Never! I was always praying that God would help me give my children up to Him and stop living in fear. Want to know how God has helped me to grow in this area? He allowed my kids to get sick. All of them. This year. 


At the beginning of the year we realized that our youngest daughter had a lump in her arm. Man, I couldn’t have the cause diagnosed quickly enough. I couldn’t diagnose it myself. Does my baby have cancer? I had to wait for the test. And then the next test. And then to see a doctor out of town so that we could schedule the next test. I couldn’t do anything to make it go faster. We eventually learned that it wasn’t cancer and that it was something called an intramuscular lipoma but that this mass was positioned precariously around the blood supply and nerves of her arm. It was unlikely that the doctor would be able to completely remove it and it could come back if not completely removed. Thankfully, it wasn’t causing any issues so that plan was to watch and wait. The best news!


As a result of the pain and unknown that my family faced in the waiting for tests and appointments, he gave me friends that prayed over my girl and over me. He gave me deeper relationships with my friends. He gave me peace that He loved my daughter more than I did. He gave me understanding that God uses bad things for good. He gave me more empathy for families facing a hard diagnosis and many trips to doctors and hospitals. I believe that this situation will give my sweet girl a peculiar empathy and compassion for children with lumps, bumps, and other physical abnormalities.  


At the same time, we had to begin treating our middle daughter for asthma. Again, something I couldn’t make go away. I was blessed to have a friend tip me off to the symptoms that I had been overlooking. I was blessed to have a doctor for our family that was diligent with care of both of our girls. I realized just how blessed we are to have access to healthcare. I realized just how blessed we have been because we have applied of God’s wisdom on finances to our family. 


Shortly after this all happened, our oldest daughter got sick. She literally got sick over night and ended up so short of breath that I actually feared for her life. She had come down with pneumonia and had an asthmatic response. The team that cared for her got it under control and, during her hospital stay, I got to see my daughter’s sweet, gentle, and brave heart bless the hospital staff. The hospital staff greatly blessed us too. They were all so kind and joyfully served our family. I got time to bond with and care for my daughter. Again, I saw just how great of friends I had. They cared for my girl. They brought presents and visited and played cards with us. Once she got to go home, I had a dear friend, in the midst of her own hectic life, travel across town to bring me a meal. Again, I saw just how great a family doctor we had. I saw just how much my children loved and cared for each other. 


God uses the hard stuff for good. I wouldn’t choose these things for my kids but I can now more clearly understand how God uses the hard stuff to draw us into deeper relationship with Him. He never leaves us. He never forsakes us. Proverbs 3:25-26 says, “Have no fear of sudden disaster...for the Lord will be at your side and will keep your foot from being snared.” John 16:33 says, “In this world you will have trouble. But take Heart! I have overcome the world.” John10:10 says, “The thief comes only to steal, kill, and destroy; I have come that you may have life and have it to the full.”


Dear friends, if you are facing fear in your parenting or in general, rest assured that God is in control. Give God your troubles and rest in His goodness. His plans are far better than ours. We can’t even begin to understand the good plans He has for us. Lean in to Him. Commit your children to the Lord. He has a good plan.

P.S. Our church has been doing a series about suffering. It is based in Job. If you have a chance, listen to the sermons. You will be blessed.
Also, here is the link to the music video played in the sermons. It’s an incredible piece. Though You Slay Me by Shane and Shane
 


~Tarah~

Thursday, October 17, 2019

Call To Creativity

First all, Thank you to Julia for reminding us that we are wonderfully created by an amazingly creative God! That we are called to create to reflect His glory and in the process bring joy to our lives!

I needed last weeks talk.  I needed God’s truth, and Julia’s reminder that it’s not about perfection, or comparison or even having to build something more out of my creative moments than the simple enjoyment while bringing glory to God!

I have always loved being creative! Before having all these sweet little blessings we call children, I had a whole room dedicated to me being crafty and creative! Well, as most of you can understand, with each new babe, my creative space and time got smaller and smaller.  It’s a rare occasion when I can bust out my glue gun or paint brush and make something. This has been a big frustration to me as I truly miss being creative.  But this past Tuesday’s meeting reminded me that I AM creative in so many different areas of my life...and so are you! 

I created dinner out of the almost nothing food that was in my pantry.

Helping my son creatively think of a way to present his book report.

You may have figured out a new way to save your family money this month!

I picked up a paint brush for the first time in a long time with my daughter and we just started mixing colors and smearing them on the canvas. 

You may have found a creative way to convince your child to put their pants back on or get them buckled into their car seat. 

I let the creative juices flow and figured out a way to rearrange an area of my home that needed help.

You are able to keep a musical beat and choreographed a dance with your kids.

Those leaves we found on our walk around the block turned into a beautiful centerpiece.

You can somehow make flour and water and sugar into something delicious! 

God has placed a creative bone in each and everyone of us! Yours may be in your arm, hers in a cheekbone and mine in my big toe! 1 Corinthians 12:14 says, “Even so the body is not made up of one part but of many.”  Thank you Jesus, we are all not earlobes.  Go ahead and ask your 5 year old to draw a picture of a person made up entirely of ears.  Just as our beautiful, wondrous bodies are made up of so many different pieces, each with a specific function, so is the many different creative gifts through out human kind. 

used to still struggle when my creative niches don’t turn out like “hers.”  Or I would create something and it wouldn’t be nearly as perfect as I pictured it in my head; and then because it didn’t turn out 100% I abandoned it all together.  Definitely not a character trait I want to pass on to my children.  I love this quote from Leeana Tankersley: “The focus is on the process, the participation, not the product. Ever.” 
What if I allowed myself to be mediocre at a bunch of things I enjoy!? Getting rid of the pressure to create something the world can give me a gold star for, and instead simply create for Gods Glory and my own enjoyment.  
Whenever I start to feel myself slipping down this slippery slope of comparison and discontent in my creativity, I will remind myself of the 5 truths Julia shared with us:

God is who He says He is
God can do what He says He can do
I am who God says I am
I can do what God says I can do
His word is alive and active in me

After you have repeated those truths to yourself, give yourself the freedom and permission to explore what inspires or intrigues you! 

One of the gals at our table mentioned that she had recently made a list of all the things she was interested in trying.  It was her year to be courageous and experience new things.  This got me to thinking about what creative venture I wanted to try, but haven’t out of fear of failure. 
Acrylic painting immediately came to mind.  I love a good piece of abstract art.  So, right after MOPs I stopped by Joann’s for a bit of paint and bought Emmy and I each a small canvas to play with.  Slapping paint here and there, and smearing colors in no particular order with her was so good for my soul.  No expectations, no pressured finished product.  

Now it’s your turn.  YOU ARE CREATIVE.  It will look different than mine, or hers and even what yours was yesterday, but have the courage to step forward and figure it out!

Take a class.  On anything you find interesting! Cooking, botany, mechanics or bug dissecting!

Visit a museum, beach or art gallery.

See a show, concert or open mic night!

Adventure into your back yard with a magnifying glass. 

Sit on your roof, stare at the stars and create a new constellation.

Wander the arts and craft store until you stumble upon something that strikes your fancy! Use the coupon and forget about how messy it will be!

Have your children help you write a story filled with whatever comes to mind...you may create the next NY Times Best Seller!

Whatever it is you choose to do, start somewhere.  Figure out where God placed that creative bone inside your stunningly creative body and have fun! 
No rules, no expectations, no comparisons. 
Just you and the creative God who made you.  

~Mallory~


Thursday, October 10, 2019

Have More Fun

I had the pleasure of watching this video about having more fun from the comfort of my home.  While it was playing at our meeting I was taking my wailing two year old home-- apparently he hasn't yet embraced this year's theme...have more fun and find your people Clay!

     I feel like Mandy has been somehow spying on my during this season of my life. How else would she know that it's mostly all admin (phone calls, paperwork, appointments, sports practices, homework, grocery shopping), making food (oh I detest the 3 times daily  making of the food) and checking things off my to-do-list (ok, I do love a good crossed out checklist).  If I'm honest, playing with my kids and having fun with my husband has been ranking a big fat last on my hierarchy of priorities-- and acknowledging that really stings. 
 
     When I look back at my childhood, I remember pretty much nothing about our day to day routine.  But here's what I do remember... I remember my mom baking cookies with me all the time (even though I'm sure I made it so much harder for her and spilled flour everywhere).  I remember my dad building us tree houses, taking us camping and reading us stories with all the crazy voices.  My brother somehow rigging his super soaker to spray me when I opened my bedroom door (who does that?). My grandpa paper-clipping dollar bills to his hat and a bunch of random places around his house for my brother and I to find.  We thought we were rich!  And when I think of my relationship with my husband, I think about how we drove across the country together when we were engaged.  How he sang "You've Lost That Loving Feeling" to me at our wedding.  How our boys adore him because he is "the fun one".
 
    I want to bring more of that good stuff into my adult life that has so easily become overrun by mundane tasks and just getting through the day.  I want to enjoy the moment and replace foreboding joy with things that will help me live with joy to the full.  To show people that I love them in a big way, and to know that I am loved by a good God.  I want to be healthier, more confident,  more accomplished, and lead a more fulfilling life.  I want to adapt easily when things go wrong.  So what can living with joy to the full actually look like in my everyday life? 
 
     Well first, it can look like letting go of the need to control.  This is something that I, and so many women struggle with.  It all starts with me acknowledging that there is very little in my life which is in my control, and therefore not sweating the small stuff.  When a wrench gets thrown in our plans, I can say to my kids, "No biggie.  Let's make a plan B.  Sometimes stuff happens!"  This shows them that there is no need to freak out.  With my husband it can look like biting my tongue and taking a minute to reassess before saying something I'll regret (I'm working on this every single day).
 
      Living with joy to the full can look like truly enjoying the moment that we're in.  So many times in my life I have been too busy focusing on the future or filled with anxiety, that I was never able to truly just appreciate the moment while I was living it.  That always leads to regret and wishing I had just enjoyed what I had when I had it.  I really try to stop and just notice things that are so beautiful.  The sunshine streaming through the windows.  The vibrant color of the flowers in my yard.  The round soft cheeks of my children who are older every second.
 
    Living with joy to the full can look like "doing it anyway."  Ohhhh, but getting the family ready for that day trip will take so much prep work.  The snacks, clothes, drinks, that I'll have to pack.  The driving I'll have to do.  I should just stay home and catch up on housework.  It's not worth it.  But that's just the thing....it's ALWAYS worth it.  Seeing new places, time spent together, glimpsing nature and smells and sounds, memories created.  It's worth it to me every single time (even if I have to block out the memories of meltdowns, which I have gotten really good at doing).
 
        Living with joy to the full can look like being more playful with my kids.  My husband definitely gets the credit for playing with our kids and will spend hours Lego building or tossing the ball with them.  But if I'm being honest, playing with my kids is not really my thing.  I just don't enjoy getting on the floor and playing trains or making play-doh creations with them.  (Sorry, not sorry). But what I do enjoy is being playful with them.  One of the tasks on my boys' morning routine chart is brushing their hair.  I always help them with this and the tears and screaming from having their hair combed was making us all just straight up miserable.  So one day, I turned my bathroom into "Kate's Salon".  I pretended like they were getting their hair styled by a professional and asked them all kids of questions about their lives while I did it.  And you know what.... they can't wait to visit Kate's Salon every single morning now....and I only take payment in kisses.  Their chore of taking out all the garbage on Sundays used to result in tears, yelling, and dramatic worries that no one will ever, ever hire them when they grow up. So I turned it into a competition to see if they could beat their time from last week to take all the trash out.  If they do, they get to watch America's Funniest Home videos that evening.  No more whining, no more crying, and they have so much fun being playful.   Everyone in a bad mood or just driving me crazy?  I crank up the "Call Me Maybe" station on Pandora and everyone dances until they're sweating and on the floor giggling.
 
     Living with joy to the full can look like just taking the time to have true conversation with my children and my husband.  This sounds so obvious, but I find myself saying, "Mmmm hmmm, yeah, ok," as I try to just get things done without having to hear about the latest Nerf Blaster and all 50 attachments that come with it.  Before bed the other night, I was laying with my oldest son and just taking the time to really talk.  He was telling me all about the latest book he's been reading, and casually mentioned that the name of the band the characters are in is called "Explosive Diaper".  Oh my word, I lost it.  I just started hysterically laughing, and then he started hysterically laughing, and then we just couldn't stop, and it reminded me that I love my son so much, (and 8 year old teeth when they're laughing are the best).  With my husband, it can look like taking the time to go on dates.  To get the babysitter, even if it's expensive or inconvenient.  Or to put the kids to bed and arrange a date at home (so many of those when we had newborns).  It can be so easy to turn into roommates when the kids are so little and needy, but it's so very important to remember why we chose one another in the first place-- and it's probably because we thought that person was a whole lot of fun.  
 
    Living with joy to the full can look like taking the time to invest in friendships.   When I was in high school and college, friends were my world.  Now I'm lucky if I get to see one a week:(  I try to really make it a priority to call up a friend and say, "Hey, let's go to the movies this week, I need a break!"  or "Let's try a new restaurant, I'm craving sushi."  I love the app Marco Polo for keeping in touch with my girlfriends who are far away, and what would I do without the occasional McDonald's play date to regain my sanity? Adult friendships take work, and they take putting yourself out there over and over, but the reward is so worth the effort.
 
    Being a mom and an adult is hard, but you can have joy to the full, if you make the choice by letting go of control and relying on a good God who loves you.  Take a step back and look at the big picture-- what do you would want your kids and your husband to remember years down the road? What do you want to remember about this phase of your life? Will you choose the path of striving, struggling, fighting and resisting?  Or will make small steps to choose the singing, running and dancing?  Maybe just start with the dinosaur costume at the bus stop and let me know how that goes ;)
 
~Kate~

Friday, September 20, 2019

Welcome Back Mops!

Yay! Mops is back! Although I truly enjoyed my summer with my kids I am so happy that Mops is back because lets be honest most of us probably have not had a decent breakfast since we last met in May! But besides the awesome breakfast we all share I can’t wait to explore what this new year will bring to each and everyone of you. To share laughter, tears, joy, coffee and maybe a few too many donuts.

I remember my first Mops meeting. I felt afraid, lost, and overwhelmed as I pushed myself out of the car. See, I hesitated to join mops for a full year! I remember contacting someone to register the year prior and never followed up to join because I was too afraid to put myself out there.  I saw all this beautiful ladies so well put together and I thought to myself man I don’t fit in! Then I started to see past the make up and beautifully matched outfits and saw them as what we are Moms! I want you to know You are not alone! And yes, being a mom is HARD we ALL struggle! And we need each other! This is why Mops was created so we can find each other in the midst of motherhood. I hope you come with an open heart and truly immerse yourself and discover what it is to be a mom, wife, woman or a friend “to the full” and have more fun while we are at it! Remember we are all here for a reason and is not an accident you decided this year to either continue or join mops for the first time. I am glad YOU came.

I hope that you truly felt welcomed and loved whether it was your first time at Mops or you are a veteran Mops mama! We have prepared and prayed for weeks coming to this date for YOU! and our encouragement for you today is that you truly find the One who has come so that you may live a life “To The Full.”

John 10:10 “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it TO THE FULL”

Monday, May 13, 2019

Blog Thing

Okay, so to be completely honest with you, I was looking for my notes to start writing this blog, and sadly I cannot find them anywhere. With that being said, I'm gonna try this off of memory, eek.

So first off, I just loved Deby's sense of humor! It was so fun to hear her speak. Thank you Deby for sharing your time with us.

Now to start this here blog thing...
There were a couple things that stood out to me from Deby's time of sharing that related to my life. The first one being that I can be just like Israel at times. I forget God. I end up trying to do life without Him. Then something happens and I'm running to Him for help. Once things are "okay" again for a bit, I start to get comfortable again and leave God behind. And the cycle repeats itself, and on and on it goes. I don't want it to be this way. I want to always, in every situation go to God first, not that that means I will. Deby said in her talk that "We are never stronger than when we are close to the Lord". I agree 100%. (I found my notes; see below, lol). This gives me the desire to grow closer to Him and know Him more.

The next thing that stood out to me was that we all have our own battles. You might know by now that the biggest battle that I face every day is anxiety. I overthink everything to a point that it just isn't healthy. Anxiety takes away so much of my time and energy that I could be using for the good of others and even myself. I'm gonna go ahead and say that anxiety is the "Sisera" in my life.  (Okay, I just got up for a minute to grab my notebook and start working on something else cuz I was drawing a blank, and when I grabbed my notebook, 'wah-la' there were my notes! Thank you Jesus!). Okay so back on track here... I keep wanting and praying that God would defeat this enemy of mine and take it away from me; I mean doesn't He know that I could be used in some amazing ways if I was healed!? C'mon God! But for what? So I can thank Him in the moment and forget about Him in the next?... (I don't believe this is why I'm not healed, I think I'm just being hard on myself).  More often than not though I think that maybe I'm not supposed to be healed... at least not yet. It's been easier for me to see God move in difficult times. If I didn't struggle, how would I know I need Jesus? I've had to lean into Him and His strength WAAAY more times than I can count because of my anxious thoughts. I'm so thankful He's there so I CAN lean into Him.  God is my Superhero. When I see the moments of peace He brings in the midst of my anxiety or other difficult times, I see Him helping me "fight Sisera" and it's fun to see the little mini battles and big battles He's helped me win.

2 Corinthians 12:7-9
... Therefore in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."

This next verse I would cry and pray it to God over and over when I was going through some tough anxiety last year.

Psalm 25:16-17
Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted. Relieve the troubles of my heart and free me from my anguish.

-Heidi M.

Saturday, April 20, 2019

You Say ...

Testimony comes from the Latin word Testis, which means “a witness.” To give one’s testimony therefore for means to give one's witness of an event(s). What a crazy concept to think about, when we give our testimony, we are telling a story of something that we had happen to our own lives and we were a witness of it's level of impact in our lives.

Lauren Daigle has been on the Christian radio stations as well as main stream radio for several months now with her number one hit, You Say. I wanted to try a different approach to my last blog with using some of her words as I recount how truly amazing Ana, Rebecca, and Ruth's stories were last week. 

It is not an easy task to tell another individual about a struggle, hurt, sin, or rejection we have been through or are going through. Now it takes someone to be bold, brave, and truly remarkable to lay down their guard and tell us how amazing our GOD was through the tears, the pain, and how they witnessed first hand His grace at work. 

I keep fighting voices in my mind that say I’m not enough
Every single lie that tells me I will never measure up
Am I more than just the sum of every high and every low?
Remind me once again just who I am, because I need to know (ooh oh)


Ana went up on stage and shared her horrific encounter with violence in her own home. She stood in front of over 70 people and described how she would wake up in fear of what would happen today. How as a child she feared her parents and later in her teenage years her spouse. How as a mother she had to let her children go with this man who was supposed to protect them but instead brought them home harmed. She didn’t have a relationship with GOD at this time, but He still showed up. You see, our GOD is not a one-sided GOD, he doesn’t need our love and attention to give us HIS. HE is always present, always loving, always strong, always there to carry us, we just need to stop and see it. Looking back through this Hell, Ana can see God's fingerprints through her story. Things at the time she could not understand, could only be God now. The small things that became life changing things, like how one day her parents just stopped fighting…. One night her abusive husband just didn’t come back home…. How one phone call saying “I don’t want to have the girls over anymore, “ from a violent Dad…. Just how in all those moments of, “What happened, why did it all stop,” God was present without being asked to come in. How he took care of his sweet daughter with rent money, an outstanding new husband, a community of friends who have become family, and most importantly how he embraced her with open hands when her and her husband made a decision to be spirit led and started their intimate and loving relationship with him.

You say I am loved when I can’t feel a thing
You say I am strong when I think I am weak
You say I am held when I am falling short
When I don’t belong, oh You say that I am Yours
And I believe (I), oh I believe (I)
What You say of me (I)
I believe


My Mother committed suicide, were the words uttered out of the lips of Rebecca. I recently read a blog from a woman who had lost her mother as well, and she described the feeling of one losing a mother, in the best way I have ever heard, so I want to share what she said. She said when you lose your mother you lose a part of you. A part of you that for the remainder of your life you keep searching for. You look for your mother in a crowd, you look for her in the sky, and you try to find her most impossible places she could be in. You are always searching, like Rebecca I am as well always searching and, in a way, feeling lost without my mother here. I love how Rebecca did not paint this perfect picture of her and her mother’s relationship, but still her heart misses her mother. Misses those moments she has missed: like her engagement several weeks after she took her life, her two little girls being born and taking the most adorable butt cheek picture ever.. those moments that bring Rebecca joy now and sorrow, her mother has missed. The one thing I will always remember about Rebecca’s Testimony was her line “when your monies become your Testimony"! WOW! I believe this is the moment we allow GOD to start healing our MONIES and allows us to WITNESS our TESTIMONY. Rebecca you are brave, you are strong because you know who is holding you up. Thank you for my hug too! 

The only thing that matters now is everything You think of me
In You I find my worth, in You I find my identity, (ooh oh)
You say I am loved when I can’t feel a thing
You say I am strong when I think I am weak
And You say I am held when I am falling short
When I don’t belong, oh You say that I am Yours
And I believe (I), oh I believe (I)
What You say of me (I)
Oh, I believe


One thing I have learned in my 7 years in MOPS is never say never. Don’t judge, don’t think your invisible, don’t think it will not happen to you. Ruth, I have known for a while now, and she is strong, loving, and the last person I could imagine being in the battle of her life when she found out she was expecting her third child. Seeing her go through this literally broke my heart. I was scared for my friend. She had to ask for help when she no longer could help herself. Medication, Doctors, Counselors, and Psychologist had to come to her side to help her body and mind heal. When she was not with another adult her children had to be taken care of by someone else. She was fighting to survive, but she was not alone. For Ruth's story, what stood out to me was how she struggled to believe in a loving GOD she grew up knowing. There are times we connect and are vulnerable enough in our life that we can finally share with our loved ones thoughts that come into our head. Ruth through this battle was able to share with her father, her struggle with believing or understanding how this all works, speaking about GOD. This conversation is not an easy one to have with a father who has brought you up telling you God is good through it all. In her vulnerability she found compassion from her father, love from her father, understanding from her father. He understood her. Our mountains in life bring out so much beauty, one thing for Ruth it brought a deeper connection with her father. For when we feel not alone, we allow ourselves to be more open to one another. We don’t feel judged. 

Taking all I have and now I'm laying it at Your feet
You have every failure God, and You'll have every victory, (ooh oh)
You say I am loved when I can’t feel a thing
You say I am strong when I think I am weak
You say I am held when I am falling short
When I don’t belong, oh You say that I am Yours
And I believe (I), oh I believe (I)
What You say of me (I)
I believe


As I say good-bye to this ministry I love and have poured into for so many years, I hear these stories and remember my “Why” for this ministry. All these testimonies ended with the same ending…. “Because of the ladies I have met through MOPS, I am OK! They brought meals, shared their own stories, called me or texted me, they pushed me to be brave, they held me up, they became my family"!

As I walk out of those Venue doors, 7 years after I walked through them, I look back at my MOPS journey as well and I am so thankful. Big Valley MOPS was GOD'S vessel that carried me through my MOM'S diagnoses with breast cancer, my miscarriage, a new “surprise” pregnancy, my mother’s death, delivering a baby girl 6 weeks after burying my mother, another “surprise” pregnancy 8 months later, a restored marriage, a career change, and now saying good-bye to a ministry my heart loves.  I am a better person because of my MOPS home, I have built friendships that have become family. I have learned about working with women (one thing I honestly thought I could never do), being a better leader, a better friend, a better listener, and knowing when to keep my mouth shut (well learning this one still). 


Thank you MOPS for allowing women to come and share WITNESS to their MONIES. For giving women an arena to be strong and bold; while being humble, tired, and not having it all together. Thank you for allowing us to be brave, when we know our story will change someone elses. Thank you MOPS for being our safe place. 


Oh I believe (I), yes I believe (I)
What You say of me (I)
Oh I believe (oh)


With all my Love,

Yessie Jamison (and Lauren Daigle)

Tuesday, March 12, 2019

Seek Wisdom in Finances

You know that feeling where you just want to burst out a happy dance even if there is no music to dance to? Yea that is the feeling I have right now as I send my very last payment to one of the biggest loans my husband and I had! Yes ladies we just payed off my husband’s student loan and it feels amazing!!

Let’s back up a bit to 4 years ago when my husband and I were about to celebrate our daughter’s 1st birthday. We were new parents and we had just moved into our own home and we had a lot of debt. From home mortgage, student loan, car payment, a few credit cards, and very little investment or savings. We were living paycheck to paycheck and felt like there was always a cord around our neck that we couldn’t move forward.

We heard about a Navigating your Finances class through Big Valley and we thought, “Well, we don’t really have anything to lose”. So, we signed up honestly to get some education about how to maybe get a better hold of our finances. We finished the course just like any other couple, very encouraged and motivated to get out of debt. We were in a good place to start with only one car payment that we were almost done paying so we thought “Hey, let’s start there!”. And then boom! My husband’s car kept breaking down to the point of it’s better to just sell it for parts, and I got into a car accident that completely totaled my car 2 months shy of paying it off!!  Talk about set back, we needed our cars for work commutes. No cars meant no work. No work meant not getting out of debt! I was very disappointed. We knew we didn’t have any money saved to even consider buying a new car, let alone two!

We got some money from my accident, but it was really just enough for a down payment for one car so there we were trying to get out of debt, yet we had just signed about 25k dollar debt for car loans. Where was my emergency fund when I needed it?! Where was my car fund when I needed it?!?!

I tell you this story to encourage and tell you that it is possible to have a hold of your finances even if it seems like you are in a deep hole and unable to get out. We will have setbacks, emergencies happen, the question is how prepared are you for those setbacks? Believe me, they will happen that is just life. I love how Tarah called it “budget meeting”. That meeting ladies is so important! Don’t miss that meeting and most importantly do not reschedule it! Today is the day to start. We must be open to talk about the place where we are right at this moment if we truly want to make a change and set an example for our children and teach them a valuable lesson on how to manage our finances in a God pleasing way.

Today my husband and I are still working towards gaining financial freedom! It won’t happen overnight but believe it or not we are closer than we were 4 years ago. We paid off one of the cars pretty quickly and the second car we will pay off God willing later this year. So, I leave you with this as I click send on my very last payment to an over 30k debt. The Bible’s consistent message in regards to money is to be wise. God wants you to seek wisdom when it comes to your finances. He wants you to pay off your debt, read Proverbs 22:7. He wants you to save money but not hoard it read (1 Timothy 6:6-11). Give to the Lord joyfully for God loves a cheerful giver (2nd Corinthians 9:6-7). Most importantly Believe that God is our ultimate provider and he will fulfill every need you have (Philippians 4:19). Jesus wants us to be free and that includes our finances as well. -Alis

Monday, March 11, 2019

Finding Friends

Happy VERY belated galentines ladies! Sorry I am late on the blog, life caught up with me and to be honest I had forgotten. Mom brain is real guys!

During our valentines meeting we celebrated GALentines and had the chance to mingle and relax. Two of my very favorite things. Having the chance to do this made me reflect on the friendships that MOPS has blessed me with. MOPS gave me the gift of 3 am friends.

Have you ever heard of a 3 am friend? I heard it at a MOPS meeting from a speaker once and I don’t remember who said it but I never imagined having one. A 3 am friend, is a friend that will be there for you no matter the time. We all need that person that we can call to celebrate with or cry with or sit and eat snacks while the kids tear up the house with. Husbands are awesome but when you’re in the trenches and he is busy with work or maybe you guys are not seeing eye to eye you need your 3 am friend. They can pray with you, cry with you, laugh with you, or if you are lucky like me they will feed you. I pray all the time that all of you moms that come here in search of friendship find your 3 am friend. I don’t know about you but I held myself back for so long from friendships out of fear of not being “good enough”.  I would have never had my friends if they had not talked to me first. I know it can be a bit uncomfortable to talk to someone new. I totally feel that finding friends is just like dating. It is sometimes awkward, and you can get nervous, and there is even an app you can download now where you can swipe through matches! I encourage you to step out of your comfort zone next meeting and be a friend to someone. Ask for their number or a playdate! If it feels weird come say hi to me, I’ll be the slightly awkward but smiling mom at the back table ready to give you a squeeze and chat. Let’s make the most of MOPS and let there be no mom alone. Love all of you GALS and shout out to my 3 am friends! Thank you for being a gift to my life and shoulder to cry on when I need it!

Bear one another’s burdens and so fulfill the law of Christ - Galatians 6:2

A friend loves at all times - Proverbs 17:17

-Ana


Monday, February 4, 2019

Don't Stoppe Believing!

The Amazing Rhonda Stoppe spoke this morning and she, like always, blew my socks off. I have been wondering what to be when I grow up as I hit 40 and now I know I want to be Rhonda when I grow up. I want to be that fired up, to have that spark she has. She is such a beautiful soul and the Lord has always spoken to me through her.

She dove into Moses' and Davids’ Mothers this morning. I never usually think about their moms. It's funny, we tend to look at the stars of these stories and not at the influential people in their lives. Their Mamas had huge impacts on making them into the godly heroes of the Bible we look up to. Our roles as Mamas are huge. Rhonda spoke about the number one thing that makes Christian kids walk away from God is having hypocritical parents; and if you tell a kid of 2 crack heads about a God who loves them they are more open to the truth. This is so true!! My husband comes from a home of Christians whose family looked great at church, but at home it was a whole other ball game. Matt walked away from the Lord as a young adult. Thankfully God pulled him back into the fold. I grew up in a non believing home and as soon as I learned about Jesus I instantly knew He was real.

Rhonda's talk was good and encouraging and I was really enjoying it until it hit a little too close to home. I have major Mommy issues. My mom has had addiction issues that led to abuse in our home. I have never felt nurtured by my mother, let alone liked or even loved. So when Rhonda spoke about "if you have Mama issues you will push other women out because you can't trust them" huge alarm bells went off for me. I have always had a lot of friends but when the chance to go deep and really trust another woman comes in, I run. I find something to nitpick about their behavior and make an excuse for why they can't be in my life anymore. Right now I am asking God to forgive me for resentment, bitterness and an unforgiving heart. I am asking Him to help me to love and trust other women. I know it won't be an overnight healing but I trust that He will help me to heal.

Wow I had no idea this morning was going to go this way and I am so thankful that it did. He is so good to have Rhonda share one sentence that I know was specifically for me.

Mamas, let's do what Rhonda said and fight for Joy in our homes. Let us let love and joy fill our homes. For me that means working on my hang ups so anger and resentment will no longer take a hold of my heart. What does that look like for you and your home? Let's think of one thing we can do today to show our kids a joy filled home that has a Mommy who, yes makes mistakes, but who loves Jesus! I love you Mamas and I am praying right now for you, that when you read this you will be encouraged to trust Him and may the Joy of the Lord be your strength.

Summur

Monday, January 21, 2019

Surrender Daringly

Have you heard of enneagrams? For those of you who aren’t familiar, enneagrams are a system of classifying personality types where each of the numbers 1-9 represent a personality type and its psychological motivations. Participants strive to use the enneagram to become more aware of their own psychological fixations, spiritual problems, patterns of behavior, and as a way of relating to other people. I had heard about them before but just recently dove into finding out what my number was. Long story short, I’m an 8 which is often referred to as “The Challenger”. A major part of an 8’s personality is the strong desire to control their environment; especially people. Certainly it’s not my favorite part of my personality, but, oh boy, is it a very LARGE part of who I am.

I have struggled my entire life with seeking to gain control. I have had a life where things have been very unpredictable. I’ve experienced a lot of loss and sadness related to things so far out of my control while enduring a lot of physical, emotional, and spiritual pain. There’s this part of me that thinks, “If I can just control this aspect, things will be better.” Abusive father, parents’ divorce, single mother raising me, brother battling cancer, tumultuous family relationships, friendships abruptly ending, abusive relationships with boyfriends, miscarriages, battles with mental illness, brother dying, autoimmune disease, children with health issues... all these things I have ZERO control over. But, that doesn’t mean that at most times I didn’t fight tooth and nail to gain control in nearly all these situations.

I grew up in a Christian household, accepted Christ at a very young age, went to church, went to Christian schools, was involved in church activities and missions. I grew up knowing God was in control, but I always had trouble giving up my control to Him. I had no problem giving Him my prayer requests and my praises, but I couldn’t give up control. WHY?! Do I know better or do I think I can do better than God, just because I think my circumstances “should” be different or that “I don’t deserve this”? I used to question why these things kept happening. Hadn't I been through enough?! I had this expectation that I deserved a break from the hardships. After my brother’s death, I began to accept that God was using these moments to teach me, shape me, grow me, or use me for his greater good. Well, at least I thought I did. I know that in my heart of hearts because the Holy Spirit is screaming it to me, but I still struggle daily with seeking to control.

Surrendering to God is the ultimate act of faith and the most daring and brave thing you can do in your walk with Him. Think of the freedom of not feeling the burden or pressure to control every situation. To let yourself off the hook from thinking everything is up to you. God asks us to cast our cares and burdens upon him. What are we missing out on by distracting ourselves with what we think we can/should be able to control? Where could that energy be better spent? What message are we missing when our focus is on unhelpful expectations and the need to control?

Being a mother is the hardest job. You wear many hats as a mother. You love so fiercely. You experience 257 emotions every day. The second you become a mother, you are transformed. It is no longer about you. Everything you do is for your child. Their needs surpass your own. You would do anything for your child. You are exhausted. You struggle with the dreaded mom guilt, feeling like you are constantly falling short. You are being tested each and every day by these little blessings that make you want to cry and pull your hair out while simultaneously making your heart melt. But God chose YOU to be the mother to your child. Motherhood is the perfect lesson in control. That is, you have very little control over your child. You can do all the right things, but your little human is a being with free will. You can provide the perfect sleeping environment, but it’s up to your child to sleep. You can provide all the right foods, but it’s up to your child to eat. You can teach them and train them in ways that they should go, but it’s up to them to make the right choices. You are not in control of your child’s life. That statement can be terrifying. Your child is your heart walking around outside of your body and it can be tremendously difficult to see them experience pain or difficulties or struggles. I say all this, not to discourage or be a bummer. I say all of this because I feel motherhood is the ultimate lesson and tool that God uses to refine us. We need not worry or fear because He is in control.

Motherhood has brought me to my knees more times than in my entire life before having children. I have given my concerns, my worries, my anxiety, my fears, my struggles, my transgressions, my pleas, my desires... I have laid them all before him. But why do I still struggle with feeling like I still need to control everything? Maybe it’s just part of my personality- that strong willed, controlling 8. I still hold onto a piece of those things I lay before Him. I struggle with full surrender. But God continues to work in my life. He continues to use the daily struggles of life and motherhood to refine me. He brought me MOPS. He brought me to the blog team. He brought me this message. He is using the Holy Spirit to scream at me that I need to not just give him my worries and strife, but truly and fully surrender them to Him. I need to let them go... *cue Frozen sing along!* When I truly surrender, He brings me encouragement and restores my soul. There are so many challenges in motherhood, I don’t want my worries and constant need to control to add to the difficulties. I don’t need my load to be any greater. I need that weight lifted off my shoulders and to let things go when I give them to God. I need to be bold, be daring, and daringly surrender. I want to be still knowing that my God is bigger than any problem or worry I have. He is always in control. I need only be still and listen and trust that when I surrender to him, He has me exactly where he wants me to be and will guide me through this thing we call life.

-Heather G.

Sunday, January 6, 2019

RESPECT

R.E.S.P.E.C.T

Well my Christmas Décor is packed away; the New Year is among us. It seems most people are saying goodbye to the “bad” of 2018 and embracing the hope for 2019. As I take a moment today to reflect on the last 365 days, I can not help and feel contentment.

Personally, I know how devastating this year has been for some of my closest friends. Some have lost loved ones after a long battle with health issues, others have separated from long relationships/marriages, another handful lost the heartbeat of the child they have not yet met but loved so dearly, additional individuals lost jobs, homes, along with hopes and dreams that they had anticipated for 2018.

I know how hard some years can be, some years where you hope desperately, they leave behind all the darkness that year held. I remember having, what seemed to be year after year of devastation. I recall frantically having an DNC the last week of 2012 after learning I had lost my child earlier that month. 2012 had already brought Mom’s cancer and losing a child, was just the icing 2012 needed, so I made sure all the “bad” would stay that year. 2014 Mom died on December 23rd and I was not going to let 2015 have her burial, so we begged and pleaded for us to bury her before the year ended… I know hard years and wanting to leave them behind, so with that I will give myself permission to continue this post.

2018 has brought contentment. Everything was not perfect and rosy, but it was not devastating either. I think for the first time in my life, I have given myself permission to look at the good the year brought, instead of focusing on the bad I was leaving behind.

Our speaker on our last meeting had so many great moments on stage and even though it seemed to be two different areas she spoke about, for me it all undertone one word, RESPECT.

RESPECT- A FEELING OF DEEP ADMIRATION FOR SOMEONE OR SOMETHING ELICITED BY THEIR ABILITIES, QUALITIES, OR ACHIEVEMENTS.

Respect for others is extremely important and not to be taken lightly. I think when we think of this word, we usually associate it with how we respond to someone else. Wendee focused on the word internally; to RESPECT oneself. To allow one permission to put one first and give your being the respect it deserved. All over the Bible, self-respect is talked about.

“I am fearfully and wonderfully made”- would I not respect something that is made wonderfully by God?

“So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.” – would I not respect something God created in HIS own image? 

Why don’t we give ourselves the respect we deserve? Why do we sacrifice and to the point DISRESPECT ourselves, to make someone else happy?

Wendee referenced a line from the book titled 7 Things Every Healthy relationship Needs, “Respect Yourself. Respect is crucial to relational health. And again, you can’t respect anyone else if you don’t first respect yourself.” 

To respect oneself, is not conceded or unloving to another, it is a healthy way to learn to be a better individual. It will teach you how to love others better if you love and respect yourself. If you put you and your family first. She mentions how she leaves for Christmas to allow herself the time she needs to focus on the holiday and respect her external family needs to build their own traditions and not feel the pressure and fear the holidays can bring. This is one of the ways she has helped herself and her family. This may not be for everyone and I know her well enough to know she is not saying to everyone to ditch their extended family on the Holidays. I do believe what she was saying is give yourself the permission to respect your needs and wants during this season and in life in general.

So, I am RESPECTING myself enough to look at 2018 and focus on the good. I am not going to look at what failed, for it is so easy for me to pick on myself and what I could have done better. I am respecting myself enough to say, “Yessie, it was a good year.”

So, what happened to me in 2018, well I grew as a woman. I learned to love harder and seek friendships. We paid off a lot of debt by budgeting and working super hard. I made the decision to close some doors with unhealthy relationships in order for the “possibility” of them to be opened again in a healthier and much deeper way, or for them to remain closed as they might have been toxic. I started to blog and write more, to allow all my thoughts to be put into words and actions. Finally, I allowed 2018 not to dictate me but for me to dictate it!

I recently heard a quote from Gisele Bundchen. “The mind is an instrument, don’t let it play you, you play the instrument!”

What a great reminder of how much we can control our mind and perspective.

So Happy New Year, embrace whatever 2018 had written for you and prepare yourself for 2019.

Let’s start off with embracing this definition of RESPECT.

RESPECT- A FEELING OF DEEP ADMIRATION FOR YOURSELF ELICITED BY YOUR ABILITIES, QUALITIES, OR ACHIEVEMENTS. 

Much Love and Respect,

Yessie J.