Tuesday, May 29, 2018

Flawed but Free

Oh MOPs, how I’ve grown to love you. I never would have thought I’d be part of a “mom group”, but now I can’t imagine my life and motherhood without it.

I’ve loved so much about this year’s theme Free Indeed.

I have moments when I’m gutsy, and moments when I hold back. I have moments when I let love be the loudest voice, and moments when I don’t. I have moments when I go first, and moments when I don’t go at all.

All that is okay. Even if you haven’t ‘Gone First’, ‘Let Love be the Loudest Voice’, or ‘Been Gutsy’ yet, you still can! We may be starting a new theme next year, or even a new adventure, but we can still take away from this year.

I may not be free from what I consider are my difficulties and flaws, but I can be free from tearing myself down about them. They’re there and it is what it is right now. I get to choose to be kind to myself and move forward. Whatever circumstance I’m in or ‘problem’ I’m having, God can use it to transform my heart. My attitude towards my life has a huge impact on how my day goes. No lie, it’s hard to have an attitude of glad-itude over an attitude of mad-itude sometimes; it can be hard to just have a positive attitude over a negative one. But for me, when I have a negative attitude, it makes everything worse and no good comes from it. It doesn’t help to tear myself down. It helps to build myself up in Jesus and in who He says I am. That brings me freedom; that yes I’m flawed because of sin, but I’m a child of God and He loves me, He created me for a purpose, and He’s going to continue refining me until I’m home with Him. I can embrace the good qualities I’ve been given and work with what I’ve got.

I really loved Racquel’s idea of writing out the unhelpful lies we believe about ourselves and things that are true of us and TEARIN’ up them lies!

I wrote something like:

I AM WORTHLESS AND DON’T DO ANYTHING RIGHT

Then I wrote:

I AM FUNNY
I AM KIND
I AM TEACHABLE

Sometimes I see myself becoming beautiful in different ways, even where I would’ve never thought I was beautiful before. Of course then in moments when I fall, I see parts where I’m still flawed. But that always just takes me back to my need for Jesus. Oh how needy I am for Him and how thankful I am to have Him in my life!

I also loved Dana’s analogy…. It was an analogy, right?... Lol. Anyway, whatever it’s called, here goes my paraphrase… I loved the analogy of the $20 being crumpled up and torn but people still wanting to use it. We can see ourselves as broken, worthless, or hopeless, but God sees us as His beautiful children He created. We are loved. And we are wanted.

Lord, sometimes I think You have Your work cut out for You with me and my issues, but then I remember that You’re God and nothing is impossible for You; not even me. Thank You for Your grace and for loving me while I’m a continual work in progress on this earth. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

-Heidi

Monday, May 7, 2018

Encourage One Another

Last MOPS was my favorite meeting of the year. Three Brave and beautiful mamas got up on that huge stage with those bright, shiny, sweaty lights, and stood in front of over 100 women and poured out their hearts for us. I love these three gals so very much and I am blessed to call them all friends.

When I think of these gals it reminds me of what brought me to MOPS 4 years ago. It was to find some friends. My husband, 3 little girls and myself had just left a ministry we were working at in TX after finding out that it was corrupt. We left quickly and moved back to Modesto without a home or a job for Matt.
We started back up at our old church but I wasn't able to click with the women there.

One morning I woke up feeling very sad and alone, my heart ached for some girl friends...even just one. I read my devotional and it just so happened to be about friendships. I got the girls out of my brother and sister in laws house, where we were staying at the time, and took them to the local McDonald's. Took a book with me because it was 11am  and it would probably be slow. I was looking forward to some quiet time.... afterall it was a Tuesday. We walked in and the play area at the Pelandale McDonald’s was brimming with toddlers and some intimidating mothers who seemed to all know each other. I told myself to just sit in the corner and keep my head down. After some play time, Riette had to pee and ran to the bathroom barefooted. I chased her in there and a Mama of twins was also in there. She asked if I was a part of MOPS....
"Umm no, is that some sort of government program?" I naively replied.
Regina ignored my stupidity and brought me back to the group introducing me to some amazing Mamas...Heather, Amy, and Melanie were so kind and they invited me to MOPS. Amy even knew my husband and we all knew many of the same people so I thought maybe it wouldn't  be so bad.

My first MOPS meeting I walked in blown away by all the perfect looking Mamas and felt a bit uneasy..but Jennifer spoke to me in the breakfast line and put me at ease. My table just happened to have one of my friends from church and a sweet gal named Sarah there too. There was only a few meetings left that year but I kept going...I had feelings of not belonging and awkwardness but every meeting someone would suggest to keep going and not give up.

So the next year I came back, Amy was my table leader and she was such an amazing support for me. She listened to me at a time I felt like no one would. She allowed me to feel like a normal mom and not the label I was putting on myself as a "Failure Missionary". I came for friends and I got healing.

Gosh you guys, I could go on and on about all the things that MOPS has done for me. Provided friends, given me a place to serve and feel appreciated, and my orange table holding me up during Postpartum Depression.

I am in total agreement with Amanda, Riane, and Caryn when they shared that they didn't know before they joined MOPS why they needed it..but y'all know who knew! Our mighty savior Jesus! He knows what we need, He knows how to use us in each other's lives to be His hands and feet. I bet all the ladies whom I mentioned above do not remember these conversations they had with me, or never thought that what they said to me on those days had such an impact. But God knew I needed to hear those things.

I'm so thankful for each and everyone of you at MOPS! Thank you for coming and being real. Thank you for smiling at a Mama you don't know. Thank you for leaving your house when you feel a little depressed. Thank you for being brave enough to say I need help, I need prayer. Thank you for being Jesus in the flesh to one another.

Encourage one another and build each other up.
1 Thessalonians 5:11

-Summur