Friday, April 17, 2020

Changing The Rules

       Hi Mommas! I’m honored to be able to share some thoughts on what we learned while watching Erin Loechner speak. In the video we listened to Erin speak about changing up the rules. I have not ever really been a fan of change, but the change Erin talks about I’m definitely willing to make some changes in that area of my life. Erin starts off by saying we need to tear up the rules about being picture perfect mothers. I'm definitely guilty of trying to be “the perfect mom.” I’m sure many of you can relate to this feeling. We are not going to say every word perfectly, make it to events or appointments on time, have stain free clothes, and be able to enjoy a nice warm shower with no interruptions. It’s just not possible and you know what, it's ok. I know it might be hard to arrive at MOPS 15 minutes late, but hey you made it and that's all that matters. We are all struggling in different areas and none of us should be judging our fellow mammas. We need to be a support team for each other!

       Like Erin said in the video, there is no encyclopedia of what a picture perfect mom should look like. One of the things that Erin said that really stuck out to me is that our God is not a checklist kind of God! God’s charge for us is freedom. Isn’t that incredible?! God isn’t sitting there checking off what we are doing right and wrong as a mother. God loves us unconditionally, no matter our faults! He died for our sins and as we just celebrated Easter Sunday we celebrated this truth! God has released us from the chains and we need to stop chaining ourselves down! As moms we want the best for our children and it’s easy to get caught up in trying to be the perfect mom and then that causes us to take our focus off of God. If we are in His word constantly, having that intimate relationship with Him, teaching our children to follow Jesus, and going to church to be spiritually fed we will be able to be the mom that God wants us to be. Another great point that Erin said was, "We don’t need more information, more ideas, or more perspectives! We need to live as if the rules were torn up with the flesh of our Savior because they were!" That last sentence just speaks such peace and for me takes so much weight off my shoulders. When Jesus died on the cross for us, these rules died with his fleshly body. We have such a loving God that He sent His only son to die for the past, present, and future sins of this world! I know there is not one human being on this planet that cares for us as much as God cares for us. The powerful love for our children is just a glimpse of the love that God has for us!

       As Erin said in the video, "We all may have different ways of mothering, but we are not all that different." We all have the same goals as mom, to feed our children no matter if its by breastfeeding or bottle feeding, no matter if we co sleep or our babies sleep in their cribs, we are giving our children a safe place to sleep. Whatever way you are mothering you are doing a good job momma! Now that we can all see each other as equals we need to tear up the rules others have given us and as Erin said, and run our own race!

      The last thing that really stuck out to me in this video was knowing the difference between guilt and conviction when it comes to advice, a book all your mom friends are reading, or something you see your favorite mom blogger post on social media. The difference is guilt comes with the word ‘should’ and conviction comes with the word ‘could’. The part I loved the most that Erin said was this, your answer to the question is YOUR answer! It’s based on YOUR own limitations and YOUR own family’s uniquely and perfectly knit needs. It is rooted in what the God you follow has equipped YOU for. Guilt gives you a gut punch, but conviction gives you a gut check. Erin’s words in these last few sentences spoke wonders to me! It definitely helped me get a better picture of the two and it was such a weight lifted off my shoulders. If only I had heard this sooner, but now I know and I can move forward! Erins words of wisdom helped me realize that just because I didn't get to breastfeed as long as I want to or if my child doesn't have the same bed time as my friend’s children, that doesn't make me a bad mom. It’s what works for my family and our needs! I hope this brings encouragement and I hope you mommas know you’re not alone in these feelings! God bless you all and keep running the good race!

 Best Wishes,
 Caleigh Stai

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