Have More Fun

I had the pleasure of watching this video about having more fun from the comfort of my home.  While it was playing at our meeting I was taking my wailing two year old home-- apparently he hasn't yet embraced this year's theme...have more fun and find your people Clay!

     I feel like Mandy has been somehow spying on my during this season of my life. How else would she know that it's mostly all admin (phone calls, paperwork, appointments, sports practices, homework, grocery shopping), making food (oh I detest the 3 times daily  making of the food) and checking things off my to-do-list (ok, I do love a good crossed out checklist).  If I'm honest, playing with my kids and having fun with my husband has been ranking a big fat last on my hierarchy of priorities-- and acknowledging that really stings. 

 

     When I look back at my childhood, I remember pretty much nothing about our day to day routine.  But here's what I do remember... I remember my mom baking cookies with me all the time (even though I'm sure I made it so much harder for her and spilled flour everywhere).  I remember my dad building us tree houses, taking us camping and reading us stories with all the crazy voices.  My brother somehow rigging his super soaker to spray me when I opened my bedroom door (who does that?). My grandpa paper-clipping dollar bills to his hat and a bunch of random places around his house for my brother and I to find.  We thought we were rich!  And when I think of my relationship with my husband, I think about how we drove across the country together when we were engaged.  How he sang "You've Lost That Loving Feeling" to me at our wedding.  How our boys adore him because he is "the fun one".

 

    I want to bring more of that good stuff into my adult life that has so easily become overrun by mundane tasks and just getting through the day.  I want to enjoy the moment and replace foreboding joy with things that will help me live with joy to the full.  To show people that I love them in a big way, and to know that I am loved by a good God.  I want to be healthier, more confident,  more accomplished, and lead a more fulfilling life.  I want to adapt easily when things go wrong.  So what can living with joy to the full actually look like in my everyday life? 

 

     Well first, it can look like letting go of the need to control.  This is something that I, and so many women struggle with.  It all starts with me acknowledging that there is very little in my life which is in my control, and therefore not sweating the small stuff.  When a wrench gets thrown in our plans, I can say to my kids, "No biggie.  Let's make a plan B.  Sometimes stuff happens!"  This shows them that there is no need to freak out.  With my husband it can look like biting my tongue and taking a minute to reassess before saying something I'll regret (I'm working on this every single day).

 

      Living with joy to the full can look like truly enjoying the moment that we're in.  So many times in my life I have been too busy focusing on the future or filled with anxiety, that I was never able to truly just appreciate the moment while I was living it.  That always leads to regret and wishing I had just enjoyed what I had when I had it.  I really try to stop and just notice things that are so beautiful.  The sunshine streaming through the windows.  The vibrant color of the flowers in my yard.  The round soft cheeks of my children who are older every second.

 

    Living with joy to the full can look like "doing it anyway."  Ohhhh, but getting the family ready for that day trip will take so much prep work.  The snacks, clothes, drinks, that I'll have to pack.  The driving I'll have to do.  I should just stay home and catch up on housework.  It's not worth it.  But that's just the thing....it's ALWAYS worth it.  Seeing new places, time spent together, glimpsing nature and smells and sounds, memories created.  It's worth it to me every single time (even if I have to block out the memories of meltdowns, which I have gotten really good at doing).

 

        Living with joy to the full can look like being more playful with my kids.  My husband definitely gets the credit for playing with our kids and will spend hours Lego building or tossing the ball with them.  But if I'm being honest, playing with my kids is not really my thing.  I just don't enjoy getting on the floor and playing trains or making play-doh creations with them.  (Sorry, not sorry). But what I do enjoy is being playful with them.  One of the tasks on my boys' morning routine chart is brushing their hair.  I always help them with this and the tears and screaming from having their hair combed was making us all just straight up miserable.  So one day, I turned my bathroom into "Kate's Salon".  I pretended like they were getting their hair styled by a professional and asked them all kids of questions about their lives while I did it.  And you know what.... they can't wait to visit Kate's Salon every single morning now....and I only take payment in kisses.  Their chore of taking out all the garbage on Sundays used to result in tears, yelling, and dramatic worries that no one will ever, ever hire them when they grow up. So I turned it into a competition to see if they could beat their time from last week to take all the trash out.  If they do, they get to watch America's Funniest Home videos that evening.  No more whining, no more crying, and they have so much fun being playful.   Everyone in a bad mood or just driving me crazy?  I crank up the "Call Me Maybe" station on Pandora and everyone dances until they're sweating and on the floor giggling.

 

     Living with joy to the full can look like just taking the time to have true conversation with my children and my husband.  This sounds so obvious, but I find myself saying, "Mmmm hmmm, yeah, ok," as I try to just get things done without having to hear about the latest Nerf Blaster and all 50 attachments that come with it.  Before bed the other night, I was laying with my oldest son and just taking the time to really talk.  He was telling me all about the latest book he's been reading, and casually mentioned that the name of the band the characters are in is called "Explosive Diaper".  Oh my word, I lost it.  I just started hysterically laughing, and then he started hysterically laughing, and then we just couldn't stop, and it reminded me that I love my son so much, (and 8 year old teeth when they're laughing are the best).  With my husband, it can look like taking the time to go on dates.  To get the babysitter, even if it's expensive or inconvenient.  Or to put the kids to bed and arrange a date at home (so many of those when we had newborns).  It can be so easy to turn into roommates when the kids are so little and needy, but it's so very important to remember why we chose one another in the first place-- and it's probably because we thought that person was a whole lot of fun.  

 

    Living with joy to the full can look like taking the time to invest in friendships.   When I was in high school and college, friends were my world.  Now I'm lucky if I get to see one a week:(  I try to really make it a priority to call up a friend and say, "Hey, let's go to the movies this week, I need a break!"  or "Let's try a new restaurant, I'm craving sushi."  I love the app Marco Polo for keeping in touch with my girlfriends who are far away, and what would I do without the occasional McDonald's play date to regain my sanity? Adult friendships take work, and they take putting yourself out there over and over, but the reward is so worth the effort.

 

    Being a mom and an adult is hard, but you can have joy to the full, if you make the choice by letting go of control and relying on a good God who loves you.  Take a step back and look at the big picture-- what do you would want your kids and your husband to remember years down the road? What do you want to remember about this phase of your life? Will you choose the path of striving, struggling, fighting and resisting?  Or will make small steps to choose the singing, running and dancing?  Maybe just start with the dinosaur costume at the bus stop and let me know how that goes ;)

 

~Kate~

Welcome Back Mops!

Yay! Mops is back! Although I truly enjoyed my summer with my kids I am so happy that Mops is back because lets be honest most of us probably have not had a decent breakfast since we last met in May! But besides the awesome breakfast we all share I can’t wait to explore what this new year will bring to each and everyone of you. To share laughter, tears, joy, coffee and maybe a few too many donuts.

I remember my first Mops meeting. I felt afraid, lost, and overwhelmed as I pushed myself out of the car. See, I hesitated to join mops for a full year! I remember contacting someone to register the year prior and never followed up to join because I was too afraid to put myself out there.  I saw all this beautiful ladies so well put together and I thought to myself man I don’t fit in! Then I started to see past the make up and beautifully matched outfits and saw them as what we are Moms! I want you to know You are not alone! And yes, being a mom is HARD we ALL struggle! And we need each other! This is why Mops was created so we can find each other in the midst of motherhood. I hope you come with an open heart and truly immerse yourself and discover what it is to be a mom, wife, woman or a friend “to the full” and have more fun while we are at it! Remember we are all here for a reason and is not an accident you decided this year to either continue or join mops for the first time. I am glad YOU came.

I hope that you truly felt welcomed and loved whether it was your first time at Mops or you are a veteran Mops mama! We have prepared and prayed for weeks coming to this date for YOU! and our encouragement for you today is that you truly find the One who has come so that you may live a life “To The Full.”

John 10:10 “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it TO THE FULL”

Blog Thing

Okay, so to be completely honest with you, I was looking for my notes to start writing this blog, and sadly I cannot find them anywhere. With that being said, I'm gonna try this off of memory, eek.

So first off, I just loved Deby's sense of humor! It was so fun to hear her speak. Thank you Deby for sharing your time with us.

Now to start this here blog thing...

There were a couple things that stood out to me from Deby's time of sharing that related to my life. The first one being that I can be just like Israel at times. I forget God. I end up trying to do life without Him. Then something happens and I'm running to Him for help. Once things are "okay" again for a bit, I start to get comfortable again and leave God behind. And the cycle repeats itself, and on and on it goes. I don't want it to be this way. I want to always, in every situation go to God first, not that that means I will. Deby said in her talk that "We are never stronger than when we are close to the Lord". I agree 100%. (I found my notes; see below, lol). This gives me the desire to grow closer to Him and know Him more.

The next thing that stood out to me was that we all have our own battles. You might know by now that the biggest battle that I face every day is anxiety. I overthink everything to a point that it just isn't healthy. Anxiety takes away so much of my time and energy that I could be using for the good of others and even myself. I'm gonna go ahead and say that anxiety is the "Sisera" in my life.  (Okay, I just got up for a minute to grab my notebook and start working on something else cuz I was drawing a blank, and when I grabbed my notebook, 'wah-la' there were my notes! Thank you Jesus!). Okay so back on track here... I keep wanting and praying that God would defeat this enemy of mine and take it away from me; I mean doesn't He know that I could be used in some amazing ways if I was healed!? C'mon God! But for what? So I can thank Him in the moment and forget about Him in the next?... (I don't believe this is why I'm not healed, I think I'm just being hard on myself).  More often than not though I think that maybe I'm not supposed to be healed... at least not yet. It's been easier for me to see God move in difficult times. If I didn't struggle, how would I know I need Jesus? I've had to lean into Him and His strength WAAAY more times than I can count because of my anxious thoughts. I'm so thankful He's there so I CAN lean into Him.  God is my Superhero. When I see the moments of peace He brings in the midst of my anxiety or other difficult times, I see Him helping me "fight Sisera" and it's fun to see the little mini battles and big battles He's helped me win.

2 Corinthians 12:7-9

... Therefore in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."

This next verse I would cry and pray it to God over and over when I was going through some tough anxiety last year.

Psalm 25:16-17

Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted. Relieve the troubles of my heart and free me from my anguish.

-Heidi M.

You Say ...

Testimony comes from the Latin word Testis, which means “a witness.” To give one’s testimony therefore for means to give one's witness of an event(s). What a crazy concept to think about, when we give our testimony, we are telling a story of something that we had happen to our own lives and we were a witness of it's level of impact in our lives.

Lauren Daigle has been on the Christian radio stations as well as main stream radio for several months now with her number one hit, You Say. I wanted to try a different approach to my last blog with using some of her words as I recount how truly amazing Ana, Rebecca, and Ruth's stories were last week. 

It is not an easy task to tell another individual about a struggle, hurt, sin, or rejection we have been through or are going through. Now it takes someone to be bold, brave, and truly remarkable to lay down their guard and tell us how amazing our GOD was through the tears, the pain, and how they witnessed first hand His grace at work. 

I keep fighting voices in my mind that say I’m not enough
Every single lie that tells me I will never measure up
Am I more than just the sum of every high and every low?
Remind me once again just who I am, because I need to know (ooh oh)

Ana went up on stage and shared her horrific encounter with violence in her own home. She stood in front of over 70 people and described how she would wake up in fear of what would happen today. How as a child she feared her parents and later in her teenage years her spouse. How as a mother she had to let her children go with this man who was supposed to protect them but instead brought them home harmed. She didn’t have a relationship with GOD at this time, but He still showed up. You see, our GOD is not a one-sided GOD, he doesn’t need our love and attention to give us HIS. HE is always present, always loving, always strong, always there to carry us, we just need to stop and see it. Looking back through this Hell, Ana can see God's fingerprints through her story. Things at the time she could not understand, could only be God now. The small things that became life changing things, like how one day her parents just stopped fighting…. One night her abusive husband just didn’t come back home…. How one phone call saying “I don’t want to have the girls over anymore, “ from a violent Dad…. Just how in all those moments of, “What happened, why did it all stop,” God was present without being asked to come in. How he took care of his sweet daughter with rent money, an outstanding new husband, a community of friends who have become family, and most importantly how he embraced her with open hands when her and her husband made a decision to be spirit led and started their intimate and loving relationship with him.

You say I am loved when I can’t feel a thing
You say I am strong when I think I am weak
You say I am held when I am falling short
When I don’t belong, oh You say that I am Yours
And I believe (I), oh I believe (I)
What You say of me (I)
I believe

My Mother committed suicide, were the words uttered out of the lips of Rebecca. I recently read a blog from a woman who had lost her mother as well, and she described the feeling of one losing a mother, in the best way I have ever heard, so I want to share what she said. She said when you lose your mother you lose a part of you. A part of you that for the remainder of your life you keep searching for. You look for your mother in a crowd, you look for her in the sky, and you try to find her most impossible places she could be in. You are always searching, like Rebecca I am as well always searching and, in a way, feeling lost without my mother here. I love how Rebecca did not paint this perfect picture of her and her mother’s relationship, but still her heart misses her mother. Misses those moments she has missed: like her engagement several weeks after she took her life, her two little girls being born and taking the most adorable butt cheek picture ever.. those moments that bring Rebecca joy now and sorrow, her mother has missed. The one thing I will always remember about Rebecca’s Testimony was her line “when your monies become your Testimony"! WOW! I believe this is the moment we allow GOD to start healing our MONIES and allows us to WITNESS our TESTIMONY. Rebecca you are brave, you are strong because you know who is holding you up. Thank you for my hug too! 

The only thing that matters now is everything You think of me
In You I find my worth, in You I find my identity, (ooh oh)
You say I am loved when I can’t feel a thing
You say I am strong when I think I am weak
And You say I am held when I am falling short
When I don’t belong, oh You say that I am Yours
And I believe (I), oh I believe (I)
What You say of me (I)
Oh, I believe

One thing I have learned in my 7 years in MOPS is never say never. Don’t judge, don’t think your invisible, don’t think it will not happen to you. Ruth, I have known for a while now, and she is strong, loving, and the last person I could imagine being in the battle of her life when she found out she was expecting her third child. Seeing her go through this literally broke my heart. I was scared for my friend. She had to ask for help when she no longer could help herself. Medication, Doctors, Counselors, and Psychologist had to come to her side to help her body and mind heal. When she was not with another adult her children had to be taken care of by someone else. She was fighting to survive, but she was not alone. For Ruth's story, what stood out to me was how she struggled to believe in a loving GOD she grew up knowing. There are times we connect and are vulnerable enough in our life that we can finally share with our loved ones thoughts that come into our head. Ruth through this battle was able to share with her father, her struggle with believing or understanding how this all works, speaking about GOD. This conversation is not an easy one to have with a father who has brought you up telling you God is good through it all. In her vulnerability she found compassion from her father, love from her father, understanding from her father. He understood her. Our mountains in life bring out so much beauty, one thing for Ruth it brought a deeper connection with her father. For when we feel not alone, we allow ourselves to be more open to one another. We don’t feel judged. 

Taking all I have and now I'm laying it at Your feet
You have every failure God, and You'll have every victory, (ooh oh)
You say I am loved when I can’t feel a thing
You say I am strong when I think I am weak
You say I am held when I am falling short
When I don’t belong, oh You say that I am Yours
And I believe (I), oh I believe (I)
What You say of me (I)
I believe

As I say good-bye to this ministry I love and have poured into for so many years, I hear these stories and remember my “Why” for this ministry. All these testimonies ended with the same ending…. “Because of the ladies I have met through MOPS, I am OK! They brought meals, shared their own stories, called me or texted me, they pushed me to be brave, they held me up, they became my family"!

As I walk out of those Venue doors, 7 years after I walked through them, I look back at my MOPS journey as well and I am so thankful. Big Valley MOPS was GOD'S vessel that carried me through my MOM'S diagnoses with breast cancer, my miscarriage, a new “surprise” pregnancy, my mother’s death, delivering a baby girl 6 weeks after burying my mother, another “surprise” pregnancy 8 months later, a restored marriage, a career change, and now saying good-bye to a ministry my heart loves.  I am a better person because of my MOPS home, I have built friendships that have become family. I have learned about working with women (one thing I honestly thought I could never do), being a better leader, a better friend, a better listener, and knowing when to keep my mouth shut (well learning this one still). 

Thank you MOPS for allowing women to come and share WITNESS to their MONIES. For giving women an arena to be strong and bold; while being humble, tired, and not having it all together. Thank you for allowing us to be brave, when we know our story will change someone elses. Thank you MOPS for being our safe place. 

Oh I believe (I), yes I believe (I)
What You say of me (I)
Oh I believe (oh)

With all my Love,

Yessie Jamison (and Lauren Daigle)

Seek Wisdom in Finances

You know that feeling where you just want to burst out a happy dance even if there is no music to dance to? Yea that is the feeling I have right now as I send my very last payment to one of the biggest loans my husband and I had! Yes ladies we just payed off my husband’s student loan and it feels amazing!!

Let’s back up a bit to 4 years ago when my husband and I were about to celebrate our daughter’s 1st birthday. We were new parents and we had just moved into our own home and we had a lot of debt. From home mortgage, student loan, car payment, a few credit cards, and very little investment or savings. We were living paycheck to paycheck and felt like there was always a cord around our neck that we couldn’t move forward.

We heard about a Navigating your Finances class through Big Valley and we thought, “Well, we don’t really have anything to lose”. So, we signed up honestly to get some education about how to maybe get a better hold of our finances. We finished the course just like any other couple, very encouraged and motivated to get out of debt. We were in a good place to start with only one car payment that we were almost done paying so we thought “Hey, let’s start there!”. And then boom! My husband’s car kept breaking down to the point of it’s better to just sell it for parts, and I got into a car accident that completely totaled my car 2 months shy of paying it off!!  Talk about set back, we needed our cars for work commutes. No cars meant no work. No work meant not getting out of debt! I was very disappointed. We knew we didn’t have any money saved to even consider buying a new car, let alone two!

We got some money from my accident, but it was really just enough for a down payment for one car so there we were trying to get out of debt, yet we had just signed about 25k dollar debt for car loans. Where was my emergency fund when I needed it?! Where was my car fund when I needed it?!?!

I tell you this story to encourage and tell you that it is possible to have a hold of your finances even if it seems like you are in a deep hole and unable to get out. We will have setbacks, emergencies happen, the question is how prepared are you for those setbacks? Believe me, they will happen that is just life. I love how Tarah called it “budget meeting”. That meeting ladies is so important! Don’t miss that meeting and most importantly do not reschedule it! Today is the day to start. We must be open to talk about the place where we are right at this moment if we truly want to make a change and set an example for our children and teach them a valuable lesson on how to manage our finances in a God pleasing way.

Today my husband and I are still working towards gaining financial freedom! It won’t happen overnight but believe it or not we are closer than we were 4 years ago. We paid off one of the cars pretty quickly and the second car we will pay off God willing later this year. So, I leave you with this as I click send on my very last payment to an over 30k debt. The Bible’s consistent message in regards to money is to be wise. God wants you to seek wisdom when it comes to your finances. He wants you to pay off your debt, read Proverbs 22:7. He wants you to save money but not hoard it read (1 Timothy 6:6-11). Give to the Lord joyfully for God loves a cheerful giver (2nd Corinthians 9:6-7). Most importantly Believe that God is our ultimate provider and he will fulfill every need you have (Philippians 4:19). Jesus wants us to be free and that includes our finances as well. -Alis

Finding Friends

Happy VERY belated galentines ladies! Sorry I am late on the blog, life caught up with me and to be honest I had forgotten. Mom brain is real guys!

During our valentines meeting we celebrated GALentines and had the chance to mingle and relax. Two of my very favorite things. Having the chance to do this made me reflect on the friendships that MOPS has blessed me with. MOPS gave me the gift of 3 am friends.

Have you ever heard of a 3 am friend? I heard it at a MOPS meeting from a speaker once and I don’t remember who said it but I never imagined having one. A 3 am friend, is a friend that will be there for you no matter the time. We all need that person that we can call to celebrate with or cry with or sit and eat snacks while the kids tear up the house with. Husbands are awesome but when you’re in the trenches and he is busy with work or maybe you guys are not seeing eye to eye you need your 3 am friend. They can pray with you, cry with you, laugh with you, or if you are lucky like me they will feed you. I pray all the time that all of you moms that come here in search of friendship find your 3 am friend. I don’t know about you but I held myself back for so long from friendships out of fear of not being “good enough”.  I would have never had my friends if they had not talked to me first. I know it can be a bit uncomfortable to talk to someone new. I totally feel that finding friends is just like dating. It is sometimes awkward, and you can get nervous, and there is even an app you can download now where you can swipe through matches! I encourage you to step out of your comfort zone next meeting and be a friend to someone. Ask for their number or a playdate! If it feels weird come say hi to me, I’ll be the slightly awkward but smiling mom at the back table ready to give you a squeeze and chat. Let’s make the most of MOPS and let there be no mom alone. Love all of you GALS and shout out to my 3 am friends! Thank you for being a gift to my life and shoulder to cry on when I need it!

Bear one another’s burdens and so fulfill the law of Christ - Galatians 6:2

A friend loves at all times - Proverbs 17:17

-Ana

Don't Stoppe Believing!

The Amazing Rhonda Stoppe spoke this morning and she, like always, blew my socks off. I have been wondering what to be when I grow up as I hit 40 and now I know I want to be Rhonda when I grow up. I want to be that fired up, to have that spark she has. She is such a beautiful soul and the Lord has always spoken to me through her.

She dove into Moses' and Davids’ Mothers this morning. I never usually think about their moms. It's funny, we tend to look at the stars of these stories and not at the influential people in their lives. Their Mamas had huge impacts on making them into the godly heroes of the Bible we look up to. Our roles as Mamas are huge. Rhonda spoke about the number one thing that makes Christian kids walk away from God is having hypocritical parents; and if you tell a kid of 2 crack heads about a God who loves them they are more open to the truth. This is so true!! My husband comes from a home of Christians whose family looked great at church, but at home it was a whole other ball game. Matt walked away from the Lord as a young adult. Thankfully God pulled him back into the fold. I grew up in a non believing home and as soon as I learned about Jesus I instantly knew He was real.

Rhonda's talk was good and encouraging and I was really enjoying it until it hit a little too close to home. I have major Mommy issues. My mom has had addiction issues that led to abuse in our home. I have never felt nurtured by my mother, let alone liked or even loved. So when Rhonda spoke about "if you have Mama issues you will push other women out because you can't trust them" huge alarm bells went off for me. I have always had a lot of friends but when the chance to go deep and really trust another woman comes in, I run. I find something to nitpick about their behavior and make an excuse for why they can't be in my life anymore. Right now I am asking God to forgive me for resentment, bitterness and an unforgiving heart. I am asking Him to help me to love and trust other women. I know it won't be an overnight healing but I trust that He will help me to heal.

Wow I had no idea this morning was going to go this way and I am so thankful that it did. He is so good to have Rhonda share one sentence that I know was specifically for me.

Mamas, let's do what Rhonda said and fight for Joy in our homes. Let us let love and joy fill our homes. For me that means working on my hang ups so anger and resentment will no longer take a hold of my heart. What does that look like for you and your home? Let's think of one thing we can do today to show our kids a joy filled home that has a Mommy who, yes makes mistakes, but who loves Jesus! I love you Mamas and I am praying right now for you, that when you read this you will be encouraged to trust Him and may the Joy of the Lord be your strength.

Summur