KINDa A Hard One

Kindness!!! Well, my whole blog post that I wrote, and spent a long time on I might add, was erased by one of my children. Breathe in, 2, 3, 4........ breathe out! Oh Jesus help me to be kind. Argggghh!

This morning Pastor Tim Giannosa spoke on Kindness and it was many good things: funny, inspiring and especially for me, CONVICTING!!! Anyone else?

I am a verbal processor which basically means I have zero filter, things fly from my mouth, some good, some negative and some hurtful. For me it is easy to be kind to others, unless you live with me then, well, the verbal diarrhea flows and flows. Oh how I wish I could take back so very many hurtful things I have said to my husband and my children. My husband gets all my moody attitude and my girls have heard many unkind tones come out of me. Oh yes, I can go back and apologize but words stick, how you treat someone sticks. Pastor Tim shared about how his hatred grew as his step-father's words stuck with him. I also remember horrible things my mother said to me, or about me, and our relationship is highly damaged, to the point where there isn't much of one at all now.

The good news is I am not alone in this struggle. You are not alone too. We can't do this in our own will, or by our own strength. He uses these struggles to grow and strengthen us.
There were 4 main points that Pastor Tim shared about. I will attempt to give a synopsis of here...

'All Amazing acts of Kindness will have....

1. Patience.
Kindness is rarely developed, or fine tuned, in the good times. It is easy to be kind when things are going well. On hard days it is really easy to be a jerk. Kindness will be developed and tested during the boiling points of frustration, especially during those times of people failing you again and again and yet again. In these moments, we can take from the Spirit what He has given us. Love is Patient.

2. Sacrifice.
You need to Sacrifice something to be kind. It doesn't cost a lot to change someones life but it does take sacrifice. Some sort of sacrifice. Will you sacrifice your time, your money, your resources.

3. Words.
Focus on your words. The tongue has the power of life and death. Proverbs 31:26 says, "she opens her mouth with wisdom, and on her tongue is the law of Kindness." Jesus is the Word. Guard your words and be extra careful with what you say in the hard moments.

4. Forgiveness.
Ephesians 4:32 says, "And be Kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you."
Forgive others in the same way God forgave you. Bestow grace upon people. Hold nothing against another person.'

Ladies, it was so easy to hear this message and allow lies to come into my head  "I am a bad mother a bad wife a bad friend". But these things are just not true. We need to forgive ourselves for things we have done and ask God to help us to be more kind. He will! We can do all things through Him! I love how Pastor Tim gave us practical ways we can practice being kind. With the Holy Spirit on our side there is nothing to stop us!

-Summur

Motherhood with the Awe & Wonder

Psalm 19:1 “The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands.”

Heavens and Skies filled with glory? I can’t seem to lift my head above the piles of laundry scattering my floor to even see the sky!

Wonder in the motherhood. 

Wonder if my stomach will ever not spill over the front of my pants.  Wonder if my kids will develop stomach cancer from all the Mcdonalds they eat.  Wonder if I’m reading books with them enough.  Wonder if I’ve bathed them this week.

It is so easy, so very, very easy to lose sight of the wonder and awe of God when your living minute by minute with your little tribe, burdened with the stresses of this world. 

You may think, “I don’t have time today for a glorious trek into God’s beautiful creation! I have to nurse the baby, clean the ring from my toilets and figure out what the heck I’m going to feed my hard working husband for dinner! Wait, where did my toddler go……”

But take heart dear mom, God’s wonder and awe are right at your fingertips! You may not be able to load the family into the minivan for a spiritual journey through the forest, but you can look deep into the eyes of your sweet babes and see God’s true wonder in the intricate design of their little blue eyes.

I grew up with a mother who truly new how to appreciate God’s wonder and awe in every moment.   Mom, I apologize now for all the times I rolled my eyes.  We’d be out and about, and without warning she’d GASP, causing all of us to wonder who died or where was the snake.  She’d then exclaim “Guys! Look at this flower! God is amazing!”  (Next time you see her, ask what her mantel magic is :) )

Now that I am no longer an angsty teenager with rolling eyes, I appreciate how she notices the smallest beauty or magical moment, especially now as a mother of young children.  It has made me realize that I don’t have to trek very far to be surrounded by God’s glory, to be a part of the beautiful creation that is all around us.

Watching my children on their hands and knees, noses to the ground following a roly poly across the sidewalk.

Feeling the patch of cool damp grass between my toes on warm day. 

Those horrible fires we’ve been having in California, have made some pretty spectacular sunsets.

The smell of the fresh cup of coffee I hold as a lifeline as my littles and I  watch the sun come up.

Our amazing mentor moms can attest to the fact that one day in the not so distant future, we will have all the time in the world for soaking in the beauty and majesty God has created, but until then, I pray that we can stop and literally smell the roses, take a stroll around the block hunting for fall leaves,  look deep into the souls of our children with awe, and bask in the early morning sunlight with hot coffee in our hands. 

And after writing this, I looked up from my spot on the porch to witness my own little wonder moment of seeing my three sweet babes all playing alongside each other, beautifully working together….nevermind that it only lasted for 5 minutes.  It was wonderful just the same!

- Mallory

To Be or Not to Be, That is the Question

Anxious.  I am anxious.  I know the expectations for my first blog and know I am capable of writing from the heart, but being vulnerable is not an easy task.  This morning at Mops I was reminded many times in various ways to be authentic and get real.  I thought I could get away with just writing a poem on what I learned about friendship (which I did below) and call it a day, but inside I knew I needed to open up and connect.

Sitting down and listening to Jen Hatmaker describe her experience with meaningful friendships, especially during the early childhood stage, was familar.  As a young mom, she was lonely and knew she needed friends.  She entered new friendships insecure and wanted to be well-received.   At first, she was inauthentic and more focused on impressing her friends instead of connecting with them.  But found out by opening up and being vulnerable, the frienships became more meaningful to both parties.  Her testimony showed me that being real is necessary if you want meaningful friendships and I do.

Reflecting on my friendships, I realize I am a different stage in each one.  Being a mom of younger children, I have been working diligently on making new friends.  Making friends has never been difficult for me, but sustaining them is.  Now, I am starting to see why.  Jen Hatmaker made it clear that sharing the worst moments can make friendships stronger.  I am self-deprecating by nature and have to work daily to stay positive.  I enjoy laughing at myself and will tell a friend exactly why I am a mess.  Although I dislike this trait, it may be a part of why my friendships are meaningful.  I am not afraid to be real about me or my life even at the first interaction.

The part that is a challenge for me is getting through the confrontations.  I agree with what Jen Hatmaker says about friendship and ultimately facing bumps in the road.  We will have tension in our relationships, but how we handle it can lift friendships to the next level.  According to Jen Hatmaker, by speaking up and letting your friend know you are wounded, you are letting her know you care about the relationship and are not willing to let the problem disintegrate the relationship.  

Confrontation is out of my comfort zone and I would do anything to avoid it.  Learning today that confrontation is necessary is a game changer in my life.  I dislike the idea of having to tell a friend what offended me, but if it is going to make the relationship more authentic and real, then it needs to happen.  I've decided taking the cowardly way out and being passive aggressive or defensive is no longer allowed in my life.  I have been taught a lesson today and I intend on growing and making more of my relationships meaningful friendships.

Meaningful Friendships according to Jen Hatmaker:

M. Mops brings us together, but the next step in making meaningful friendships is up to us.
E.  Every mom could use meaningful and consistent friendships especially during the early childhood years.
A.  Alone is how motherhood sometimes feels, but friends can help immensely.
N.  New moms may feel the need to be inauthentic.
I.  Instead of impressing our friends we should connect.
N.  No, it is not always easy and hitting a bump in the road is normal.
G.  Get real with your friends.
F.  Friendships that share the worst moments become stronger.
U.  Useful to take the risk and share what is going on in your heart and mind.
L.  Learn to be transparent and sincere around friends.

F.  Fork in the road in friendships are bound to happen
R.  Rough patches and tension are a part of all friendships.
I.  Insist on talking about hard times with your friend,
E.  Even if it means having to confront the problem.
N.  Necessary to speak up and be genuine.
D.  Defensive is not ideal in a confrontation; instead listen, show you care and learn what can be done to fix the problem.
S.  Saying what hurt you in a relationship will make it more meaningful.
H.  Healthy relationships will set an example for the kids. 
I.  Important that kids see meaningful friendships in your life.
P.  Put yourself out there and let your friend love and know you.

-Amanda

What's Blog Got to Do, Got to Do with it?

Hi Y'all, I'm Summur the resident blog lady. This morning's MOPS meeting was so fun and exhilarating. It was awesome to see so many new faces. If we haven't met yet come find me and say hello, I love love love meeting new people!

I thought I'd take advantage of the first blog post to introduce you to the blog and our new blog team.

The blog team is made up of four regular Mama's who all have different backgrounds and perspectives; Amanda, Ginny, Mallory, and me. The goal of the blog is for the writer to just share from their heart. Sharing what God showed them that morning, or is teaching them currently. It's not to say 'this is what you should get out of this meeting' at all. My hope is that it will be an encouragement to you. 

The blog is all about reflecting on the last MOPS meeting with a post coming up within a few days after each meeting. We also have tabs on top of the blog.

Home...for the posts.

Leadership.....bios and pictures of those who serve you.

Meeting Dates & Registration...MOPS dates and dues info.

Breakfast...some video recipes, and quick ideas.

Contact Us...where to send your friends who want to join.

Well that's that about the blog. I'm ready for a nap now, ready to see some stars, Ha! I'll leave you with my favorite verses.

"The Lord bless you and keep you; The Lord make His face to shine on you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn His face towards you and give you peace." Numbers 6: 24-26

-Summur

We Are The Starry Eyed

Who's ready for MOPS to start back up? I know I am.
If you are new to MOPS - Welcome! I can't wait to meet you!
I have a lot of hopes and dreams for this year. Last year was a bit rough for me personally, so I am totally ready to dive into a new year full of new possibilities!
At first I was not quite "getting" this years' theme, but now I am completely on board!
Starry Eyed means we choose... Hope, Wonder & Kindness!! Doesn't that sound so refreshing?
Here is a great video explaining 'We Are The Starry Eyed'.....

Flourishing Forward: Moving On

Thank you.

Thank you for letting me write my heart to you, and for accepting me as I am.

My time has come to an end as the blog leader, and I won't be staying with MOPS next year, as most of my kids are off to school and crushes and homework and body changes....

And that's all pretty awesome. Please God, let it be awesome. This new stage of parenting, I have to admit, is daunting.

I was all set and prepped to take on the blog next year, but one night, making dinner and dealing with 3rd grade girl drama, I realized I need to move on.

It's not my kids, it's me. I've tried to keep dealing with my kids as though they are still 3-year-olds, and because of that, discipline has been a struggle. Connecting with them has been a struggle. Discovering who they are again -- a struggle. And I've been stubborn.

I don't want things to change. I was just getting good at this parenting thing, and now it's changing, and I've resisted.

This is hard, you guys. Being a mom is hard.

Keep going. Don't give up. What you do, right now, when they are babies, this counts. Stay strong. Be brave. Keep flourishing and dancing to music in the kitchen, and setting up play dates, and enjoying their intense love for you.

Hopefully I will discover the equally amazing parts of this next stage.

I am handing the baton of "Blog Leader" to Summur Braley, and I know she will shine and love on you and share her heart and take this blog to a new and wonderful place.

Until then, keep flourishing in motherhood!

Blessings,

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Char

Flourishing Together: Acceptance and the Last Meeting of the Year

At our last Mops meeting I sat and recorded my two oldest girls singing, or lip sinking their hearts out, to Every Move by David Crowder and I had an overwhelming feeling of joy. 

I just felt so thankful to be with you guys, all of you guys. Yes you, even you the ones I don't know from Adam. I may not know your name but I smile at you and you smile back. I strike up a conversation with you in the breakfast line and you laugh at my 12 year old humor. I admit to you I have no clue what I am doing at this motherhood thing and you say 'Amen'. We get each other, we accept each other we are there for each other. I love that. I love you guys and am so incredibly blessed by all of you and your personalities, strengths, even your weaknesses. Because they make us who we are. They show us that God fills in those gaps. He gave us each other to encourage one another and build each other up. We did a pretty great job of that this year Sisters. 

We did flourish fiercely! We let our light shine on one another and decided to be a place of acceptance instead of exclusion. So thank you for that, thank you for being my peeps, and thank you for letting me sit next to you.

~ Summur