October Mom of the Month (M.O.M.) - Renee R.

M.O.M. (Mom of the Month) - October

Renee R.

1. Who's in your family?

My family consists of my husband, Seth (my high school sweetheart). We just celebrated our 10 year anniversary in June. I love doing life with him. We have 2 daughters. Haley will be 3 in November and Samantha is 2 1/2 months old.


2.) What is your favorite thing about MOPS?

I love how I always leave encouraged and inspired. I love the speakers that come and it is SO nice to be surrounded by a room full of moms who I can relate to because we are all at the same place in life. Raising little ones.


3.) What was your favorite Halloween costume as a kid?

Ha! Well, I attended a very conservative church school. Every Halloween they held a "Fall Gathering" but costumes were NOT allowed.Sooooo.... (shock alert) I never went Trick or Treating. 

4.) Describe your dream vacation.

A trip to Italy with my husband. No kids. :) I'd love to be tucked in a villa for a week or two eating lots of Italian food. Doesn't this picture look dreamy?

5.) What is your favorite sweet treat?

Ugh....I have to narrow it down to one? I love Boysenberry pie. It MUST be warm with a scoop of vanilla icecream.


6.) What advice or encouragement can you offer the moms in our group?

Have grace. Grace for other moms (I have NOT mastered this....work in progress). It is easy to cast judgement on the mom who is in Target with the toddler who is throwing a tantrum. It is easy to think, "Wow. She needs to discipline those kids". As moms, we all have good and bad days. Treat others as we would want to be treated. Maybe offer a word of encouragement to her. I have been the recipient of cards that have said, "You are a GREAT mom, keep up the good work". I have saved them and re~read them over and over. Oh how those words have blessed me. Let's encourage one another and have GrAcE.

Being Brave: Honesty

It takes bravery to be honest, to tell the truth to ourselves and to others. The video by Shauna Niequist at our meeting yesterday was probably the most honest part of my week. I sat with tears brimming, nodding frequently, because yes. Just yes.

So often I tell myself lies: I can do it all, I don't need help, I'm alone in this. And I'm not doing myself any favors by fibbing my way through the day.

Not only that, I'm not allowing my husband or my friends the opportunity to a.) really know me, or b.) show me how much they love me.

You may have already guessed this, but I have a problem asking for help. Help me. I am frequently dishonest when it comes to my limits, my desires, and my needs. The trick is that if you tell yourself the lie often enough, you come to believe it, and you won't be tempted to let someone else into the carefully orchestrated tornado that is your life.

Did you ever see the movie One Fine Day, with Michelle Pfeiffer and George Clooney? So funny. Anyway, there's a scene I think about sometimes when my day gets really crazy and I get a glimpse of how control-freaky I'm being: There's an argument between the two characters about her juggling all the balls, and how she doesn't trust anyone with her balls, and why should she let any of them go?

It's funny, if you haven't seen it, it's pretty great.

But anyway, the chick is totally coming unhinged because she's being forced to let someone else help her. She can't do it all, but she also can't trust another human with her weakness.

I often feel like that woman with all my balls in the air, my life precariously "perfect," pushing away the helpers, dishonest about how tired I am, and how lonely I am... And what happens when I get bumped or pushed and it all goes awry?

Well, it's not pretty.

Funny story, as I contemplated this blog post and went about my way of juggling and pleasing others and meeting every one's needs as best I could, a night went by, and I woke up to a swell of nausea and vertigo. I lay in bed, looking up at my ceiling fan, and decided I could do this. I may have the flu, or it could be a migraine, but I would try to push past it. (Isn't that what moms do?) There were lunches to be made, and bags to be packed, and kids to be woken, and...

Nope. I got up, and then crawled right back onto the bed, helplessly patting my husband to take over for me.

It's scary to ask for help. I don't do it unless I'm forced to. This morning I was forced, and it's still scary.

The "what it's" threaten to overwhelm us: What if he says no? What if he thinks I'm weak? What if I am weak? What if things don't get done? What if things get done wrong? What if, what if, what if...

What if, instead, we honestly admit we can't, and trust someone we love? What of we embrace help, embrace human imperfection, embrace our own weakness? What if we trust another person to show up for us and we aren't disappointed? And so what if we are??

Well this morning, I trusted my husband to show up, and he did. There was no guilt, there was no shame. He doesn't do things my way, he does them his way, and that's OK. The girls get a special daddy-made lunch, and I get a little break, even if I do feel like I'm dying.

I only wish this business of being honest wasn't so risky, or so hard, or so impossible.

I wish I could ask for help before I collapse from a case of the do-it-all's.

So let's check it, ladies. We're women -- human, imperfect, prone to weakness human beings. We may be really awesome, and brave, and strong too. But let's take our bravery to the next level and be truthful about when we need a helping hand, or a break, or when we just need a friend to come over for a "play-date," which is really secret code for "I really need a friend right now, please come talk to me about grown-up things, and bring your big words, please."

Because you know that's the truth.

It Works for Me - Yesnia's Table

Yesenia J - To avoid using yucky restrooms at the park, bring a portable potty and a few diapers - size 6. Put the diapers inside the potty. After the child uses the potty, wrap up the diaper & throw it away!

Kelly D- Gives her daughter 2 outfits to choose from every morning. She gets to make the choice of what she wants to wear without a battle.

Dana M - Daughter doesn't like to wear socks. Dana buys solid colored socks and turns them inside out. The seams are on the outside where they can't "poke" her feet!

Amanda B & Amy D - Great minds think alike! Amanda & Amy buy the pouches of rotisserie chicken at Costco! It's great for putting together quick dinners  - such as enchiladas, soups, ect.

Carolyn S - Every parent needs a break! Carolyn and her siblings would take turns watching each others children on the weekends. Each couple would get a night or weekend to themselves!

Mom of the Month: September 2014

M.O.M. (Mom of the Month) - September

DeAndra T.

1.) Who is in your family?

My family consists of my husband Matthew, our son Jesse (6), our daughter Gia (4), and half of our time we have our part-time kids (nephews) Jayden and Lawrence.


2.) What is your favorite childhood memory?

My favorite childhood memory is from my junior high years. I would lay in bed with my sister Payton who is two years younger than me and tell her all my "super cool" stories from school.


3.) What is your favorite thing about MOPS?

My favorite thing about MOPS is the weird cheesy potato thing that someone ALWAYS brings. There are mornings when I am too tired to function and wanted to skip MOPS, but those cheesy potato things got me out of bed.


4.) If you had a day to yourself, what would you do?

If I had a day to myself, honestly, I would eat junk food and mindlessly watch tv until I was so full that I'm on the brink of exploding and then call my grandpa to hang out with me.


5.) What is your favorite caffeinated beverage?

My favorite caffeinated beverage is some organic coffee from Trader Joes that habitually resides in my cabinets, mixed with chocolate almond milk...but it has to be delivered to me in bed... by my husband, before I can get out of bed.... oh! And I it can't be after I've begged him for 30 minutes to bring it to me.


6.) What is one piece of advice that you would share with other moms?

The best advice I could ever give to any mom sounds cliche, but I am being 100% sincere... is to live by Proverbs 3:6--Seek His will in all you do and He will direct your paths... I have learned that all I have to do is ask, listen, and be willing to obey. The Lord will provide more than enough wisdom to live a life that is blessed beyond measure!

A Word from Your Coordinator!

Here we are, about ready to kick off a new year together at MOPS! This year’s theme is Be You, Bravely and I can’t wait to embrace this with all of you! What does it mean to accept who I am, how I am uniquely created and step out in courage? What does that even look like? We all wear so many hats in our relationships as mother, sister, friend, daughter, wife, colleague, neighbor….the list goes on and on. If we can be more brave in our daily life, how much of a difference will that make in our own hearts, and in the world around us?! There is no better way to build up courage than in the context of community…at MOPS!

MOPS at Big Valley Grace is an amazing community of moms! We are all incredibly different, with different families and different backgrounds, and we come together and encourage each other, and embrace the differences amongst us. I love that SO much! I love that we have a place to come and hear that we aren’t alone, and that someone else understands how it is mothering little kids. This is a very special and difficult time of parenting, and mothers with young children are statistically the most lonely group. I hope that your time with MOPS this year brings you to a new place in your life; that it brings you to a place with real relationships, with a new perspective on life, and to know more about the loving God that created us all!

I’m so excited to see old friends and meet new ones!! Are you ready for Tuesday!?? We will have a great time, meeting your table, learning about what’s going to happen this year, meeting your new leaders and possibly winning a raffle! We can’t wait to see you then!

Love,
Heather Blass

"It Works For Me" - Sara McAvoy's Table - May

Sara - Made a Thomas The Train potty chart for her daughter to encourage her in potty training. Every trip that is successful she gets to put a sticker on the train...when the train is filled up she gets a prize.

Amy - A great tip for cutting preemie/newborn fingernails. Use a jeweler's loupe to magnify the nails & it leaves your hands free.

Megan - Plans her family's meals 1 month at a time. Makes dinnertime less stressful because you already know what you are having for dinner.

Melissa - Looks for easy recipes to make dinnertime a success.

Crockpot Chicken
1lb frozen chicken
2 cans black beans
1c brown or white rice
16oz salsa

Put all ingredients in crockpot & cook on low for 8 hours, or high for 4 hours.

Stacy - Decided to make her son's baby food to save money. Bought squeeze pouches to store the food in.

Shelly - Uses Shopkick app - earn points for scanning products while you are in the store. Lets her kids scan the items - earn gift cards. Also uses her notepad on her phone for her shopping list because then you have the shopping list with you when you are out doing errands.

Joy - Made peanut butter play dough for her kids to play with (peanut butter, honey & dry milk). Let kids play with it and can eat it also...put out snack items to go with it.

Ruth - Use stickers to aid in potty training. Spell words to describe character traits for motivation. Found stickers at Dollar Tree.

mOmSCARs

I have to admit, I was not immediately sold on this "Mom Oscars" idea.

I don't even own a fancy dress.  I would definitely need to get to a thrift store to find someone else's cast-off bridesmaid dress. I also have a new (nursing) baby. How was this going to even work??

I admit once again, I was not sold on this idea at first.

But then I posted a subtle "help me" post on the group Facebook page. And help came. Suggestions, excitement, and a pair of heels were generously given. Yay for you guys! Thanks for helping a sister out!

I went to a thrift store, and not only came away with a dress that I'm sure at one time was some woman's idea of sexy, but also a pair of designer jeans for $5. I might be back there this summer...

Slowly I warmed to the idea that maybe this worn out, post-partum, sleep derived, un-showered mommy of four could pull this off after all. I tried on my dress, deemed it suitable if worn only ironically, and immediately the zipper split. Awesomesauce. Apparently I'm super talented because I was able to fix it well enough that I wouldn't need a replacement dress.

Who am I kidding? I didn't have time to hunt for a new dress! I had to make it work, baby!! <insert maniacal laughter mingled with the promise of tears>

So MOPS day arrived! My husband kept subtly suggesting that my dress might be "hot" and he was excited to see it. I don't know if it met his expectations of hotness once he helped me (very carefully) zip it. But he was nice enough to not say anything too negative and therefore left my precarious self-esteem intact.

I took a couple selfies in the van before I left our driveway, which shall never enter the world of Facebook or Instagram, because no one needs to see that hooey.

I arrived at the mOmSCARS!!! There were bacon maple bars!!!! I ate three!!! Bacon and sugar and fried dough make me so happy, thank you to the mama who made the stop on her way and purchased that yumminess!!

I think everyone felt beautiful, even if ironically. I could see it on every face: the glimmer that is IS possible to don heels on a Tuesday; we CAN fit into our old prom dresses; we DO still have a waist! I'm so proud of us. As far as I could see, everyone tried. Even without taffeta or lace, we all gave it a go. No one showed up in pajamas.

And that makes us all winners, don't you think? We win! We make it through some of the most difficult, tiring, defeating days. We also give life, and kiss owies, and change ten thousand diapers every day, and we still show up. We show up in our lives, and we give everything we have until that last babe is sleeping.

And then we eat ice cream. You know you do it too.

But seriously, every mom deserves a mOmSCAR. If you think no one sees you, that no one will ever acknowledge or understand the enormity of all that you do, you're wrong.  Your kids see. God sees. I guarantee you your husband sees. They may not call your name and hand you an award every day, but that's ok. You still win.

Because today you stayed to clean up after and love on and hug. You didn't run away. You didn't give up. Stay strong my fellow Super Mom. And every now and then, put on a sexy dress and remind yourself that you still have a waist. And if you dare, take a couple "minivan selfies." It's fun. And do that pouty lip thing too. You won't regret it.

Epilogue:

I had a wardrobe malfunction at this event. You guessed it, my zipper split apart and my nethers were visible to all. Thank you to my table ladies for helping me to sneak away for a wardrobe change. I guess I need to work on my awesome dress-fixing skills.