Keep Your Eye on the Big Picture

Wanna know a secret?  I've attempted to write and rewrite (and rewrite again) this blog post a million times over the last week.

I'll admit that it may have a little something to do with my perfectionist tendencies.  However, I believe that the real reason I wasn't comfortable publishing anything I tried to put together has more to do with what God was trying to teach me in the meantime... more on that in a minute.

We learned a bit about having a financial vision for our family from our speaker, Christy Erickson.  Preparing for your family's future by having a spending plan (a term that's a little easier to swallow than "budget") is counter-cultural nowadays.  So many people are up to their ears in credit card debt because of our generation's "you deserve it" attitude, but it doesn't have to be that way!  Meal planning, couponing, gardening, and simplifying life in general are all great ways to cut back on spending and cut down on debt.  

We also heard from Pastor Robert Gelinas (via video), a husband and father of six who presented at the MOPs Convention last October.  He shared about how his family has created a plan - or "blueprint" - that encompasses`each family member's mind, body, and spirit.  They regularly pray about how to edit their blueprint, get the kids involved in the process, and refer to it often in their daily interactions.  They even created an acronym using their last name to help them remember who they are as a family.

Pastor Gelinas explained that by having (and using) a vision for your family, everyone can easily refocus and keep the big picture in mind when life gets a little muddy.  He said, "Don't let the immediate distract you from the ultimate."

Don't let the immediate distract you from the ultimate.

Easier said than done, eh?

God reminded me of this message all week long, tweaking it to fit the situation at hand, and whispering it into my heart:

"Don't let your the newest Facebook news distract you from playing just one more round of Candyland with your boys."
"Don't let that one little temper tantrum steal the joyful memories you made at the park this morning."
"Don't let the fact that your husband came home later than expected keep you from enjoying what little time you get to spend together."  
"Don't let a silly blog post get in the way of an important spiritual lesson."

Whether it's drafting a will, working on a spending plan, writing a family vision statement or something entirely different, let me encourage you as I've been encouraged this week... Plan for tomorrow, and then act on your plans, so that you can be present for today.    

Mom of the Month: January

Mom of the Month: January

Ciara Fielder

Who is in your family?

My handsome husband, Robert. My oldest miracle, Clayton (6), and God's way of molding my character, Christian (2).

What are your New Year's resolutions?

My New Year's resolution is the encourage someone with words and/or actions every day. It could be a friend or family member or even a stranger. (We are all in this thing called life together why not help encourage each other?)

What is your favorite "me" time activity?

I have 2 favorite "me" time activities scrapbooking (photography) and about 9 months ago I started running.

What was your favorite childhood activity?

My favorite childhood activity was every Monday night was "family night." My dad would play the guitar, we would sing, play games, etc. It carried into our teenage and adult years. And now even though we all live in different states we all having family nights with our own families.

What advice or encouragement can you offer the other moms in our group?

My advice would be, don't do this motherhood thing alone. Do play dates, grab a girlfriend and go for coffee, do a Bible study with friends, and make sure you get some "me" time.

Mom of the Month: December

Mom of the Month: December

Yesenia Jamison

Who is in your family? 

My husband is Vincent Jamison and he is an Estate Planning attorney here in Modesto. We have been married 8 1/2 years and have two beautiful daughters Gisselle Rihanna, 4, and Stella Rose, 2.

What is your favorite childhood holiday memory?

I am full Mexican and was raised in a Catholic home. Our tradition was to stay up until past midnight and welcome Christmas Day as a family. We were able to open our gifts at midnight, which my parents did only things we needed as gifts, so yes underwear and socks were a signature gift, except we did get a bike one year. We then hurried off to mass at 12:30am. I loved this, as Christmas Day was not about the gifts but about Jesus' birth.

How will you be spending your Christmas holiday this year?

For the first time since my mom was diagnosed with Breast Cancer, she was feeling well enough to travel to Mexico to see family, so our Christmas will be spent at our new place on Christmas Eve with my brother and his family, as we stay up until midnight to welcome Christmas Day. On the actual Christmas Day we will be making memories with our little ladies in the morning and then heading up the road to my in-law's house to celebrate with my husband's side of the family.

What is your favorite "me" time activity?

My favorite "me" time is going to Starbucks or lunch by myself...I can check my Facebook, Pinterest, etc. without a little one asking me to play a game on my phone, feed them, or have to stop a melt down. It is amazing how much food I can eat when I can actually sit down and do it! I am also a big thrift store person, so I try to sneak that in every time I get my alone time.

What bit of advice or encouragement can you offer the other Mommies in our group?

I am so new at this mom thing that I am not sure if I can give sound advice. I can tell you what has worked for me...

I make sure I make my kids belly laugh every day, there is something about them laughing that energizes me and them as well.

I have seen in my personal life how things can change dramatically from one day to another, so I try to live today as best as I can, as tomorrow is not promised.

Lastly, I try to be as real with my children as possible. My husband and I don't try to show our kids a perfect marriage because one does not exist, we are honest about our mistakes and when needed I go and apologize to my kids when I loose my temper. I love their daddy in front of them, as well as show them at times sin can enter our home and turmoil will arise. It is important to me that my kids see our "perfect" mess, that way they will know as adults how to deal with the good times and bad times.

Pit Stops: Finding our Rest

Pit Stops: not to be confused with "pit stains" or "potty stops" -- more familiar terms perhaps to a speeding mommy.

Pastor Rick Countryman spoke at this weeks MOPS meeting, and though I know he talked about a few great topics, what I focused on was this verse he shared, Psalm 127:2 (LB)

"It is senseless for you to work so hard from early morning until late at night, fearing you will starve to death; for God wants His loved ones to get their proper rest."

Resting is good. Resting is not something to be ashamed of or something to apologize for. God wants us to rest. He wants us to be healthy and happy, and let's face it ladies, without a "mommy time-out" we often find ourselves very UN-happy and UN-healthy.

As I write this, I feel like this busy week of driving kids back and forth from school, preschool and multiple activities has all caught up with me, and I'm fighting a sore throat and a cough. My typical "rest" time has been cut short, and naps are so foreign to me at this point, I'm not even sure how to do that sleeping in the day thing that other people talk about.

Our time at MOPS was just what I needed, and I felt giddy being with friends and eating yummy food, and seeing everyone with their "ugly" get-ups was just good Christmas-y fun, wasn't it?

It almost made me forget about the family pressures, gift-buying, and baking that I "need" to get done, as well as the parental responsibility of making Christmas magical and special for my little ones.

That last task is the most weighty it seems to me. But how do I make Christmas sweet and special for my kids, when I'm going so fast and so hard that I don't have time for it?

I think resting during this season often means taking a break from the "should" and "have to" -- and instead doing the "want" and "it would be fun to."

When my 6 year old asks for a day off of school, or my 5 year old asks to watch Charlie Brown's Christmas for the 17th time, or my 3 year old wants to make cookies with me, I often say:

"We can't."

"Sorry, we don't have time."

"Maybe later."

But it's time to see Christmas like I'm a kid again. I'd like to do fun things because I want to, with my kids, enjoying them and their oooh-ing and awe-ing, and how they see Christmas decorations as magical, and appreciating their love for the Christmas tree, and the smells and the sounds.

I'm tired of being tired. So today is a day off. Today (after school) we watch Christmas movies and maybe bake cookies if we feel like it. But definitely mommy will be curled up on the couch with a blanket and a cup of tea.

The vacuuming and the dusting and the laundry can wait. Today we rest, and we enjoy, and we cuddle.

It won't always be like this. And life isn't a guarantee. So be in the moment this season. And, of course, take a nap if you can.

It Works For Me - Megan Barr's Table - November

It Works For Me

Megan - Uses magnetic picture calendar to avoid the continuous question "What are we doing today/tomorrow mom?" Here is the link that Megan provided on our MOPS Facebook page for a great example.

http://www.iammommahearmeroar.net/2010/09/whats-up-weekly-board.html

Heather - uses Lysol spray to take care of any pests that are keeping her girls awake or scaring them...including spiders or monsters that may be under the bed or in the closet.

Melissa - Uses plastic placemats that can be trimmed to customize size to line shelves in her fridge

Jodie - Doesn't iron, but uses Downy wrinkle releaser to take the place of ironing.

Sophia - Created a scavenger hunt game for her kids to play with objects that are located in the house to give her a few minutes of free time. Puts pictures of items in the house on cards & then places the cards under those certain objects in the house for the kids to follow the trail & find the next item. Give them a small prize at the end of the hunt.

Connie - In order to keep feet nice & moisturized and not dry & scratchy, put lotion on your feet at night, wrap a plastic bag around each foot & then pull on socks over bags. Do this one night a week for amazingly soft feet.

Thank you girls for all of your great tips!

Life is What Happens When We're Busy Making Other Plans

It's been a looooong three weeks since our last meeting, and it was so nice to spend time together!  As much as I was looking forward to hanging out, I knew the topic would be heavy, and could bring up some painful personal experiences for many of us (myself included).

If you've read the most recent post on my personal blog, you learned from Kathi Lipp that it's not enough to just share your story with someone else.  You must take it one step further and share what God has done with that story because that is where ministry happens.  She noted that "the thing that nearly killed you can be used to save someone else's life."

That's exactly the kind of ministry Bridgette Eilers shared with us.

While most cannot directly relate to her personal cancer diagnosis, I'd be shocked if there was a single woman in the Venue on Tuesday who hasn't been touched in some way by infertility, miscarriage, cancer or some other form of loss or chronic illness.  However, I'm confident that we can all relate to thinking we have our lives under control.  We've all been lulled into believing that our plans will come to fruition exactly as we imagined without a single bump in the road, even if it has nothing to do with anything major.

BUT... God says, "I know what I'm doing - I have it all planned out.  Plans to take care of you, not to abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for." (Jeremiah 20:11, The Message)

We've all run into something we couldn't fix - something we had no control over.  That's not the important part.  What really matters is how we respond to our trials.  Do we continue to battle with God over control, only to end up frustrated and exhausted?  Or do we offer our lives to Him, submitting to His will, even if it doesn't fall in line with what we thought our lives would look like?  Do we desperately search for peace in the world only to fall short and remain desperate?  Or do we fall into the loving arms of the only one who can deliver true peace?

"I am leaving you with a gift - peace of mind and heart.  And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give.  So don't be troubled or afraid."  (John 14:27)  Also, 2nd Corinthians 1:3-4 reminds us that God is the source of our comfort, and The Message version adds "He comes alongside us when we go through hard times, and before you know it, he brings us alongside someone else who is going through hard times so that we can be there for that person just as God was there for us."

So I guess MOPs is on to something this year... Share your story.  Be authentic.  And show how God has used your situation to minister to someone else.

After my first (very public) miscarriage, I was shocked at the number of women who came to me and admitted - with darting glances and hushed voices - that they'd lost babies as well.  My first thought was, "Why didn't anybody tell me this could happen?  Why is it such a big shameful secret?"  Our silence simply perpetuates the toxic lie that starry-eyed brides are led to believe - that pregnancy is plannable (is that a word?) and easy and glamorous.  And for some, it is.  But for those who have struggled or lost or dealt with a tough diagnosis, I believe we have a responsibility to be honest about our struggles - if for no other reason than to bring glory to the One who brought us through the junk, offering comfort and peace.

This doesn't mean that our meager words will fix or prevent someone else's problems.  But we can provide some hope.  We can use our personal experiences to assure our fellow sufferers that they won't be left to muddle through the hard stuff alone.

Bridgette used the "thing that nearly killed her" to provide comfort in someone else's life by developing a non-profit organization called The Chemo Crew.  This group offers help and hope to cancer patients and their families by assembling and distributing Chemo Crew Kits filled with books and informational resources as well as comfort items like hard candy (to help with metal mouth) and hot/cold rice packs (to soothe sore spots) and water bottles.  Visit their website to find out how you can donate items for these kits, or volunteer in another capacity.

You don't have to start a full-fledged organization to offer support to someone.  You can bring them a meal, or meet for coffee and let them cry on your shoulder, or rake their leaves, or send them an encouraging card in the mail, or pray with them.

You can share your story... and use it to demonstrate God's love.

Whether we're dealing with cancer or the terrible two's, the truth is that we're not alone.  Turn your sob-story into a testimony, and be a part of God's plan for someone else's life by showing them that they're not alone either.

Mom of the Month: November

Mom of the Month: November

Brittney Burrow

Who is in your family?

My husband is Josh and we have two beautiful boys together. Benjamin just turned 3 and Andrew is 6 months old.

What is your favorite childhood memory?

My favorite childhood memory is of making mud pies outside! My mom would give me her old pie tins and I would make mud out of water and dirt and fill them up. Then I would decorate them with rocks and flowers. My mom was a good sport because she allowed me to put them in our refrigerator when I was done!

If you had  a free vacation anywhere, where would you go?

If I had a free vacation I would love to go to Italy! I would love to see all of the iconic landmarks and enjoy the food with a glass of wine.

What is your favorite "waste of time" or Pinterest find?

My favorite "waste of time" is reading. Thank God for the Kindle app on my phone! My favorite Pinterest finds are the free printables. They are a great way to add character to your home decor or for holidays! I have a few in our playroom too.

What bit of advice or encouragement can you share with the other moms in our group?

It feels odd for me to offer advice to other moms because I feel like I'm the one who needs advice and encouragement! What I have been working on lately is to enjoy the moment because it will pass in the blink of an eye. I am realizing my kids are growing so fast and even though some of our moments feel stressful and out of control, I know that years down the road I will look back and miss those moments. I do not want to look back  with regret and remember feeling frustrated and stressed. I want to smile and remember laughing and enjoying my boys.