Pit Stops: Finding our Rest

Pit Stops: not to be confused with "pit stains" or "potty stops" -- more familiar terms perhaps to a speeding mommy.

Pastor Rick Countryman spoke at this weeks MOPS meeting, and though I know he talked about a few great topics, what I focused on was this verse he shared, Psalm 127:2 (LB)

"It is senseless for you to work so hard from early morning until late at night, fearing you will starve to death; for God wants His loved ones to get their proper rest."

Resting is good. Resting is not something to be ashamed of or something to apologize for. God wants us to rest. He wants us to be healthy and happy, and let's face it ladies, without a "mommy time-out" we often find ourselves very UN-happy and UN-healthy.

As I write this, I feel like this busy week of driving kids back and forth from school, preschool and multiple activities has all caught up with me, and I'm fighting a sore throat and a cough. My typical "rest" time has been cut short, and naps are so foreign to me at this point, I'm not even sure how to do that sleeping in the day thing that other people talk about.

Our time at MOPS was just what I needed, and I felt giddy being with friends and eating yummy food, and seeing everyone with their "ugly" get-ups was just good Christmas-y fun, wasn't it?

It almost made me forget about the family pressures, gift-buying, and baking that I "need" to get done, as well as the parental responsibility of making Christmas magical and special for my little ones.

That last task is the most weighty it seems to me. But how do I make Christmas sweet and special for my kids, when I'm going so fast and so hard that I don't have time for it?

I think resting during this season often means taking a break from the "should" and "have to" -- and instead doing the "want" and "it would be fun to."

When my 6 year old asks for a day off of school, or my 5 year old asks to watch Charlie Brown's Christmas for the 17th time, or my 3 year old wants to make cookies with me, I often say:

"We can't."

"Sorry, we don't have time."

"Maybe later."

But it's time to see Christmas like I'm a kid again. I'd like to do fun things because I want to, with my kids, enjoying them and their oooh-ing and awe-ing, and how they see Christmas decorations as magical, and appreciating their love for the Christmas tree, and the smells and the sounds.

I'm tired of being tired. So today is a day off. Today (after school) we watch Christmas movies and maybe bake cookies if we feel like it. But definitely mommy will be curled up on the couch with a blanket and a cup of tea.

The vacuuming and the dusting and the laundry can wait. Today we rest, and we enjoy, and we cuddle.

It won't always be like this. And life isn't a guarantee. So be in the moment this season. And, of course, take a nap if you can.

It Works For Me - Megan Barr's Table - November

It Works For Me

Megan - Uses magnetic picture calendar to avoid the continuous question "What are we doing today/tomorrow mom?" Here is the link that Megan provided on our MOPS Facebook page for a great example.

http://www.iammommahearmeroar.net/2010/09/whats-up-weekly-board.html

Heather - uses Lysol spray to take care of any pests that are keeping her girls awake or scaring them...including spiders or monsters that may be under the bed or in the closet.

Melissa - Uses plastic placemats that can be trimmed to customize size to line shelves in her fridge

Jodie - Doesn't iron, but uses Downy wrinkle releaser to take the place of ironing.

Sophia - Created a scavenger hunt game for her kids to play with objects that are located in the house to give her a few minutes of free time. Puts pictures of items in the house on cards & then places the cards under those certain objects in the house for the kids to follow the trail & find the next item. Give them a small prize at the end of the hunt.

Connie - In order to keep feet nice & moisturized and not dry & scratchy, put lotion on your feet at night, wrap a plastic bag around each foot & then pull on socks over bags. Do this one night a week for amazingly soft feet.

Thank you girls for all of your great tips!

Life is What Happens When We're Busy Making Other Plans

It's been a looooong three weeks since our last meeting, and it was so nice to spend time together!  As much as I was looking forward to hanging out, I knew the topic would be heavy, and could bring up some painful personal experiences for many of us (myself included).

If you've read the most recent post on my personal blog, you learned from Kathi Lipp that it's not enough to just share your story with someone else.  You must take it one step further and share what God has done with that story because that is where ministry happens.  She noted that "the thing that nearly killed you can be used to save someone else's life."

That's exactly the kind of ministry Bridgette Eilers shared with us.

While most cannot directly relate to her personal cancer diagnosis, I'd be shocked if there was a single woman in the Venue on Tuesday who hasn't been touched in some way by infertility, miscarriage, cancer or some other form of loss or chronic illness.  However, I'm confident that we can all relate to thinking we have our lives under control.  We've all been lulled into believing that our plans will come to fruition exactly as we imagined without a single bump in the road, even if it has nothing to do with anything major.

BUT... God says, "I know what I'm doing - I have it all planned out.  Plans to take care of you, not to abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for." (Jeremiah 20:11, The Message)

We've all run into something we couldn't fix - something we had no control over.  That's not the important part.  What really matters is how we respond to our trials.  Do we continue to battle with God over control, only to end up frustrated and exhausted?  Or do we offer our lives to Him, submitting to His will, even if it doesn't fall in line with what we thought our lives would look like?  Do we desperately search for peace in the world only to fall short and remain desperate?  Or do we fall into the loving arms of the only one who can deliver true peace?

"I am leaving you with a gift - peace of mind and heart.  And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give.  So don't be troubled or afraid."  (John 14:27)  Also, 2nd Corinthians 1:3-4 reminds us that God is the source of our comfort, and The Message version adds "He comes alongside us when we go through hard times, and before you know it, he brings us alongside someone else who is going through hard times so that we can be there for that person just as God was there for us."

So I guess MOPs is on to something this year... Share your story.  Be authentic.  And show how God has used your situation to minister to someone else.

After my first (very public) miscarriage, I was shocked at the number of women who came to me and admitted - with darting glances and hushed voices - that they'd lost babies as well.  My first thought was, "Why didn't anybody tell me this could happen?  Why is it such a big shameful secret?"  Our silence simply perpetuates the toxic lie that starry-eyed brides are led to believe - that pregnancy is plannable (is that a word?) and easy and glamorous.  And for some, it is.  But for those who have struggled or lost or dealt with a tough diagnosis, I believe we have a responsibility to be honest about our struggles - if for no other reason than to bring glory to the One who brought us through the junk, offering comfort and peace.

This doesn't mean that our meager words will fix or prevent someone else's problems.  But we can provide some hope.  We can use our personal experiences to assure our fellow sufferers that they won't be left to muddle through the hard stuff alone.

Bridgette used the "thing that nearly killed her" to provide comfort in someone else's life by developing a non-profit organization called The Chemo Crew.  This group offers help and hope to cancer patients and their families by assembling and distributing Chemo Crew Kits filled with books and informational resources as well as comfort items like hard candy (to help with metal mouth) and hot/cold rice packs (to soothe sore spots) and water bottles.  Visit their website to find out how you can donate items for these kits, or volunteer in another capacity.

You don't have to start a full-fledged organization to offer support to someone.  You can bring them a meal, or meet for coffee and let them cry on your shoulder, or rake their leaves, or send them an encouraging card in the mail, or pray with them.

You can share your story... and use it to demonstrate God's love.

Whether we're dealing with cancer or the terrible two's, the truth is that we're not alone.  Turn your sob-story into a testimony, and be a part of God's plan for someone else's life by showing them that they're not alone either.

Mom of the Month: November

Mom of the Month: November

Brittney Burrow

Who is in your family?

My husband is Josh and we have two beautiful boys together. Benjamin just turned 3 and Andrew is 6 months old.

What is your favorite childhood memory?

My favorite childhood memory is of making mud pies outside! My mom would give me her old pie tins and I would make mud out of water and dirt and fill them up. Then I would decorate them with rocks and flowers. My mom was a good sport because she allowed me to put them in our refrigerator when I was done!

If you had  a free vacation anywhere, where would you go?

If I had a free vacation I would love to go to Italy! I would love to see all of the iconic landmarks and enjoy the food with a glass of wine.

What is your favorite "waste of time" or Pinterest find?

My favorite "waste of time" is reading. Thank God for the Kindle app on my phone! My favorite Pinterest finds are the free printables. They are a great way to add character to your home decor or for holidays! I have a few in our playroom too.

What bit of advice or encouragement can you share with the other moms in our group?

It feels odd for me to offer advice to other moms because I feel like I'm the one who needs advice and encouragement! What I have been working on lately is to enjoy the moment because it will pass in the blink of an eye. I am realizing my kids are growing so fast and even though some of our moments feel stressful and out of control, I know that years down the road I will look back and miss those moments. I do not want to look back  with regret and remember feeling frustrated and stressed. I want to smile and remember laughing and enjoying my boys.

It Works For Me - Sarah Crowell's Table - October

It Works For Me - Sarah Crowell's Table

Sarah C. - Give your child a few sprinkles (let them pick which kind) to make getting allergy shots, medicine or potty training easier.

Sue - Interrupt Rule: teach children not to interrupt by having them put their hand on your arm or leg to get your attention when you are mid-conversation or on the phone, acknowledge them by putting your hand over theirs and then when you have a break ask what they would like to ask you or tell you.

Jill - In order to get your children moving in the morning when they don't want to wake up, tell them they need to get up and use the bathroom and then they can lay down for another 10 minutes when they are done...usually by the time they are done in the bathroom they are awake enough to not want to lay down again.

Christina - When your kids ask for a soda, mix together sparkling water and a little bit of juice.

Emily - To avoid forgetting to bring diapers and pajamas into bathroom for after bath time, store a few sets of pj's and some diapers right in the bathroom.

Amy - "Happiest Baby On The Block" is a great book when you are raising young children, suggests using white noise to help your child sleep - Make a CD with hair dryer noise.

Yesenia - Teach your child to say "No Thank You" when they don't want to do something or play with someone, it sounds much more polite. Use a "No Thank You" spoon at the dinner table: if your child doesn't want to eat something that you are serving they may say "No Thank You" to that specific dish and then they still get a teaspoon size serving...mommy and child both win!

Grace - If you bring your husband lunch now and then or even make him lunch to take with, put love notes or encouragement notes in with their lunch to brighten their day. When your kids are having a rough day with their behavior, give them hugs and kisses anyway and tell them you love them...it will make them want to do better.

Della - To help prevent diaper rash, keep a blow dryer next to changing table and shoot a blast of cold air on their bottom before you put the new diaper on to get rid of the moisture and avoid accidents while you let them run around the house to try and air out their bottoms with no diaper on.

Thank you ladies for all of your great tips!

Controlling Your Emotions (this is not a joke)

Oh, the irony. 

Sometimes I think God is really funny; or clever. Probably both. Definitely both clever and funny, and also he must love me very much to give me a topic called "Controlling Your Emotions" exactly one day after probably one of my worst mommy-fails ever.

Let's start with this week's meeting. So, I really look forward to MOPS, initially because I never buy donuts, and there are usually donuts there. And now that I'm pregnant, it's become very important for me to be near the front of the breakfast line, in order that I get first pick of the donuts.

I would have taken a picture of my plate full of wonderful yummy goodness, but I ate very quickly. So here's a picture of my empty plate. You'll notice I did choose a little bunch of grapes; for the antioxidants.

So that morning we watched a MOPS video, with Lisa TerKeurst as the speaker. The topic was on controlling our emotions. I know we already covered that, but I wanted to refresh your memory after the donut discussion.

Lisa talked about 4 different ways we tend to (mis)handle our emotions, or react, to conflicts that may arise.

These reactions are Exploders Who Blame Others, Exploders Who Blame Themselves, Stuffers Who Build Barriers, and Stuffers Who Collect Retaliation Rocks (I just love the name of that one, it's cool).

So let's go back to my Monday morning of this week. And let me also tell you, that with my kids, I tend to be an "Exploder Who Blames Others." They bring this out in me, I tell you.

Anyway, we'd just had a week off of our normally scheduled programming, aka "fall break," and no one wanted to be getting up at 6:30 to eat breakfast and get dressed for school. I was cranky, my daughters were moving so slow... so, sooo slow... and my lack of sleep contributed to my very yelly attitude that morning. Pretty much everything set me off. They weren't listening to me: "Why is NO ONE LISTENING TO MEE!!!" They didn't eat their breakfast fast enough: "Eat your FRICKING BREAKFAST!!!" And at the end of all this, they were sitting on the floor, trying to find which shoes go on which feet, all while bickering about something I don't even remember, and I yelled, "Everyone SHUT UP!!!"

Now, we don't say shut up. I teach my kids, saying shut up is rude, and we don't tell each other to shut up. But at this moment, it was my emotional reaction.

I liked how Lisa explained that these out of control emotional reactions tend to pop up when something/someone either "exposes" us, or "opposes" us. Upon first glance, I was feeling opposed. I needed the morning to go as planned, as I had planned it, so we could get out of the house at the planned time.

But, when I thought about my temper tantrum later on, and remembered how I'd ended my tantrum in a heap of tears -- upset that I couldn't find any of my older daughter's water bottles because she'd lost them all at school -- I realized I also felt very exposed that morning. 

Do you often catch yourself yelling or criticizing your kids, and a little part of you realizes you're actually yelling at yourself? It's not them that's failed you, you feel as if you've failed yourself? You haven't met your own expectations?

Monday morning, as I apologized to my 6 year old before dropping her off at school, I recognized that I was angry at myself that morning. "I should have's" had been running through my head all morning. I should have found another water bottle for my daughter to use, I knew they were missing; it was a mommy-fail on my part. But instead of accepting that and moving forward, I exploded in rage and blamed my daughter for her carelessness. She's 6. She loses stuff. Duh.

I also was angry at myself because my kids were still acting "coughy" after having been sick over vacation, and I was feeling like a failure. "I should have" made them go to bed earlier, given them cough syrup the night before, put a humidifier in their room... I could keep going. But the fact is, kids get sick, and they have residual coughs, and instead of accepting that, I got angry. And it all came out towards them.

So, coming back to Lisa's talk, she has some suggestion for people like me, us "Exploders." 

She asks us to bring PAUSE. To think: am I about to attack or address the issue? I guess apparently there's a moment between our emotions and our reaction. I have a hard time finding that moment, but I'm going to try. Anyway, it's in that very brief moment, that we must think. We must pause. It's healthy to address the issue; it's unhealthy to attack the people we love.

I'm very blessed that when I said, "Bella, I'm so sorry mommy was so cranky to you this morning." She, without any hesitation, said, "It's okay, Mommy. I forgive you!" (And I cried behind my sunglasses because how humbling is THAT?)

I really don't want to put her in that place very often. When I mess up, I've made it a point to apologize to my kids; but I hate having to do it. Because that means I did something awful. And they don't deserve that. And I want them to be able to see how I react to life, and have it be a good example. I don't want this short time to go by and have it all be a lesson in "What not to do's."

So here's to learning how to control the Beast. We are tired, emotional, hormonal, guilt-ridden mommies; but through Christ who strengthens us, we can do this. 

Let's do this thing! 

Finding Balance - Photographically Speaking

Picture this... 
You and your little one are hanging out at home, and she does something particularly adorable.  You run away briefly and return with your fancy camera, trying everything in your power to get her to be adorable again so you can capture the moment and savor it over and over again.  The problem is, your tiny tot is no longer in the mood to perform, and now everyone's frustrated.

Or perhaps you've forgotten the aforementioned camera on a once-in-a-lifetime trip and now you'll never forgive yourself for not being able to zoom in just so to create the clearest, most detailed picture of your children the world has ever seen.

Jerad Hill, our speaker at today's meeting, encouraged us to forget about perfection (because there are apps for that!), and stop lugging our giant camera bags around because "The best camera is the one that's with you."

With the advent of social networking, our culture is bent on preserving every detail of our lives in photographs.  But how much are we really able to experience - in living color - if we're focused on viewing our lives through the camera lens?  And what are we teaching our children?    

I loved hearing Jerad's thoughts because he has the experience of a professional photographer, but also the perspective of a loving father who wants to participate in his young boys' lives.  He challenged us to find a balance between capturing memories and taking part in them.  

Save the editing for when the kids are in bed.  The world can wait to see your son's newest trophy till morning, but your son wants to see the pride on your face - not the camera that's covering it up.  Your daughter wants to see that her dances delight you, even when the camera is safely stowed in your purse.

And let me encourage you to also remember to include yourself in some of these photos.  As moms, we tend to do most of the photography, and our children's scrapbooks are filled with photos of everyone but us.  

By using your smart phone and a few easy-to-use apps, it's possible to effectively capture snippets of your family's adventures, and then tuck it away so that you can really engage in what's going on.  Jerad introduced us to Camera Genius, which is a photo-taking app, and several photo editors including SnapSeed, Diptic PDQ, Photo Editor by Aviary, Afterlight, and Visco Cam.  And he suggested using Animoto.com as an easy way to turn your photos into a slideshow.

If you're interested in learning more from Jerad, make sure you follow him on Facebook (facebook.com/jeradhillphotographer) and Twitter (@jeradhill) and visit his website (jeradhillphoto.com).  Also, if you do like to use a "giant" camera, learn how to get more out of it by taking his online course called Ditch Auto (ditchauto.com) for FREE and stay tuned for a smart phone version as well.