It Works For Me - Sarah Crowell's Table - October

It Works For Me - Sarah Crowell's Table

Sarah C. - Give your child a few sprinkles (let them pick which kind) to make getting allergy shots, medicine or potty training easier.

Sue - Interrupt Rule: teach children not to interrupt by having them put their hand on your arm or leg to get your attention when you are mid-conversation or on the phone, acknowledge them by putting your hand over theirs and then when you have a break ask what they would like to ask you or tell you.

Jill - In order to get your children moving in the morning when they don't want to wake up, tell them they need to get up and use the bathroom and then they can lay down for another 10 minutes when they are done...usually by the time they are done in the bathroom they are awake enough to not want to lay down again.

Christina - When your kids ask for a soda, mix together sparkling water and a little bit of juice.

Emily - To avoid forgetting to bring diapers and pajamas into bathroom for after bath time, store a few sets of pj's and some diapers right in the bathroom.

Amy - "Happiest Baby On The Block" is a great book when you are raising young children, suggests using white noise to help your child sleep - Make a CD with hair dryer noise.

Yesenia - Teach your child to say "No Thank You" when they don't want to do something or play with someone, it sounds much more polite. Use a "No Thank You" spoon at the dinner table: if your child doesn't want to eat something that you are serving they may say "No Thank You" to that specific dish and then they still get a teaspoon size serving...mommy and child both win!

Grace - If you bring your husband lunch now and then or even make him lunch to take with, put love notes or encouragement notes in with their lunch to brighten their day. When your kids are having a rough day with their behavior, give them hugs and kisses anyway and tell them you love them...it will make them want to do better.

Della - To help prevent diaper rash, keep a blow dryer next to changing table and shoot a blast of cold air on their bottom before you put the new diaper on to get rid of the moisture and avoid accidents while you let them run around the house to try and air out their bottoms with no diaper on.

Thank you ladies for all of your great tips!

Controlling Your Emotions (this is not a joke)

Oh, the irony. 

Sometimes I think God is really funny; or clever. Probably both. Definitely both clever and funny, and also he must love me very much to give me a topic called "Controlling Your Emotions" exactly one day after probably one of my worst mommy-fails ever.

Let's start with this week's meeting. So, I really look forward to MOPS, initially because I never buy donuts, and there are usually donuts there. And now that I'm pregnant, it's become very important for me to be near the front of the breakfast line, in order that I get first pick of the donuts.

I would have taken a picture of my plate full of wonderful yummy goodness, but I ate very quickly. So here's a picture of my empty plate. You'll notice I did choose a little bunch of grapes; for the antioxidants.

So that morning we watched a MOPS video, with Lisa TerKeurst as the speaker. The topic was on controlling our emotions. I know we already covered that, but I wanted to refresh your memory after the donut discussion.

Lisa talked about 4 different ways we tend to (mis)handle our emotions, or react, to conflicts that may arise.

These reactions are Exploders Who Blame Others, Exploders Who Blame Themselves, Stuffers Who Build Barriers, and Stuffers Who Collect Retaliation Rocks (I just love the name of that one, it's cool).

So let's go back to my Monday morning of this week. And let me also tell you, that with my kids, I tend to be an "Exploder Who Blames Others." They bring this out in me, I tell you.

Anyway, we'd just had a week off of our normally scheduled programming, aka "fall break," and no one wanted to be getting up at 6:30 to eat breakfast and get dressed for school. I was cranky, my daughters were moving so slow... so, sooo slow... and my lack of sleep contributed to my very yelly attitude that morning. Pretty much everything set me off. They weren't listening to me: "Why is NO ONE LISTENING TO MEE!!!" They didn't eat their breakfast fast enough: "Eat your FRICKING BREAKFAST!!!" And at the end of all this, they were sitting on the floor, trying to find which shoes go on which feet, all while bickering about something I don't even remember, and I yelled, "Everyone SHUT UP!!!"

Now, we don't say shut up. I teach my kids, saying shut up is rude, and we don't tell each other to shut up. But at this moment, it was my emotional reaction.

I liked how Lisa explained that these out of control emotional reactions tend to pop up when something/someone either "exposes" us, or "opposes" us. Upon first glance, I was feeling opposed. I needed the morning to go as planned, as I had planned it, so we could get out of the house at the planned time.

But, when I thought about my temper tantrum later on, and remembered how I'd ended my tantrum in a heap of tears -- upset that I couldn't find any of my older daughter's water bottles because she'd lost them all at school -- I realized I also felt very exposed that morning. 

Do you often catch yourself yelling or criticizing your kids, and a little part of you realizes you're actually yelling at yourself? It's not them that's failed you, you feel as if you've failed yourself? You haven't met your own expectations?

Monday morning, as I apologized to my 6 year old before dropping her off at school, I recognized that I was angry at myself that morning. "I should have's" had been running through my head all morning. I should have found another water bottle for my daughter to use, I knew they were missing; it was a mommy-fail on my part. But instead of accepting that and moving forward, I exploded in rage and blamed my daughter for her carelessness. She's 6. She loses stuff. Duh.

I also was angry at myself because my kids were still acting "coughy" after having been sick over vacation, and I was feeling like a failure. "I should have" made them go to bed earlier, given them cough syrup the night before, put a humidifier in their room... I could keep going. But the fact is, kids get sick, and they have residual coughs, and instead of accepting that, I got angry. And it all came out towards them.

So, coming back to Lisa's talk, she has some suggestion for people like me, us "Exploders." 

She asks us to bring PAUSE. To think: am I about to attack or address the issue? I guess apparently there's a moment between our emotions and our reaction. I have a hard time finding that moment, but I'm going to try. Anyway, it's in that very brief moment, that we must think. We must pause. It's healthy to address the issue; it's unhealthy to attack the people we love.

I'm very blessed that when I said, "Bella, I'm so sorry mommy was so cranky to you this morning." She, without any hesitation, said, "It's okay, Mommy. I forgive you!" (And I cried behind my sunglasses because how humbling is THAT?)

I really don't want to put her in that place very often. When I mess up, I've made it a point to apologize to my kids; but I hate having to do it. Because that means I did something awful. And they don't deserve that. And I want them to be able to see how I react to life, and have it be a good example. I don't want this short time to go by and have it all be a lesson in "What not to do's."

So here's to learning how to control the Beast. We are tired, emotional, hormonal, guilt-ridden mommies; but through Christ who strengthens us, we can do this. 

Let's do this thing! 

Finding Balance - Photographically Speaking

Picture this... 
You and your little one are hanging out at home, and she does something particularly adorable.  You run away briefly and return with your fancy camera, trying everything in your power to get her to be adorable again so you can capture the moment and savor it over and over again.  The problem is, your tiny tot is no longer in the mood to perform, and now everyone's frustrated.

Or perhaps you've forgotten the aforementioned camera on a once-in-a-lifetime trip and now you'll never forgive yourself for not being able to zoom in just so to create the clearest, most detailed picture of your children the world has ever seen.

Jerad Hill, our speaker at today's meeting, encouraged us to forget about perfection (because there are apps for that!), and stop lugging our giant camera bags around because "The best camera is the one that's with you."

With the advent of social networking, our culture is bent on preserving every detail of our lives in photographs.  But how much are we really able to experience - in living color - if we're focused on viewing our lives through the camera lens?  And what are we teaching our children?    

I loved hearing Jerad's thoughts because he has the experience of a professional photographer, but also the perspective of a loving father who wants to participate in his young boys' lives.  He challenged us to find a balance between capturing memories and taking part in them.  

Save the editing for when the kids are in bed.  The world can wait to see your son's newest trophy till morning, but your son wants to see the pride on your face - not the camera that's covering it up.  Your daughter wants to see that her dances delight you, even when the camera is safely stowed in your purse.

And let me encourage you to also remember to include yourself in some of these photos.  As moms, we tend to do most of the photography, and our children's scrapbooks are filled with photos of everyone but us.  

By using your smart phone and a few easy-to-use apps, it's possible to effectively capture snippets of your family's adventures, and then tuck it away so that you can really engage in what's going on.  Jerad introduced us to Camera Genius, which is a photo-taking app, and several photo editors including SnapSeed, Diptic PDQ, Photo Editor by Aviary, Afterlight, and Visco Cam.  And he suggested using Animoto.com as an easy way to turn your photos into a slideshow.

If you're interested in learning more from Jerad, make sure you follow him on Facebook (facebook.com/jeradhillphotographer) and Twitter (@jeradhill) and visit his website (jeradhillphoto.com).  Also, if you do like to use a "giant" camera, learn how to get more out of it by taking his online course called Ditch Auto (ditchauto.com) for FREE and stay tuned for a smart phone version as well.    

Mom of the Month

Mom of the Month: OCTOBER

Melissa Basi

Who is in your family?

Pinder (husband), Me, Mia (10), Kiley (8.5), Jordan (23 months), Bex (12 weeks). We are a blended family, his (Mia), Mine (Kiley), Ours (Bex and Jordan).

What is your favorite childhood memory:
My favorite memories from childhood are from Christmas. This was always a very special time for me growing up with my family and my siblings.

If you had a free vacation anywhere, where would you go?
I would love to visit some place in Europe. I hope one day I can travel to many different countries.

What is your favorite "waste of time?"
I waste a lot of time on Facebook! I do a lot of online shopping too because I don't get out of the house a lot these days.

What bit of advice or encouragement can you share with other moms in our group?
Oh my goodness... I feel like I'm the one that needs advice and encouragement right now! Keep calm and carry on. If anyone needs help getting their baby to sleep through the night (8-12 hours) I'm your girl. I've been successful with all of my babies by 6 weeks and have helped my sister and many of my friends achieve this goal. It's my only claim to fame! lol!

It Works For Me... Michelle Manuel's table - September

"It Works For Me"

Teresa A. - Use a black sharpie to erase your grey hair

Andrea W. - Cookbook to make veggie purees to mix in with your meals so that your family members who don't like veggies will still be eating them without even knowing it! **I will see if I can get the titles of the books from her and update the blog with them later :) The books are Deceptively Delicious by Jessica Seinfeld and The Sneaky Chef by Missy Chase Lapine. Andrea also let me know that they are both available at the Stanislaus Co. Library.

Katie P. - Makes her own coffee creamer to cut down on cost. Mix together one can of sweetened condensed milk and one can full of your regular milk in a shaker, add 2 Tbsp. of flavoring of your choice (vanilla or almond suggested) mix together & keep in refrigerator.

Renee R. - To keep her 22 month old daughter busy in her crib after nap time, she sneaks books into her crib while she is sleeping so her daughter can play with them when she wakes up.

Michelle M. - Use shaving cream to keep your kids entertained. You can squirt some on the bathtub wall to keep them busy or even on toys outside and they can use to clean...makes them smell good too!

Courtney V. - To help kids stay on track and accomplish task of cleaning up toys, use a song they are familiar with and tell them their toys need to be picked up by the end of the song.

Laura B. - Buys frozen chicken at the grocery store, throws in crock-pot on low when she gets home and cooks for approximately 8 hours. Remove from crock-pot and shred, then put into 2 cup portions and store in freezer to have ready for meals during the week.

Cyndi D. - Re-use foaming hand soap dispenser and refill with approx 1" or 1 1/2" of dish soap and then gently fill with warm water and slowly mix together. Keeps cost down and easier for kids to wash their hands.

Lacee K. - Fool proof recipe to make Salmon that she found on Pinterest. Drizzle salmon filet with olive oil, sprinkle with salt and pepper, put into a cold oven, then turn on the heat to 400 degrees. Twenty-five minutes later, the salmon is absolutely perfect. Tender, moist, flaky! A no-fail method.

There you go ladies! 

Life is Messy

Emotions were right at the surface yesterday morning as I walked  into the MOPS meeting. Chaos from that morning seemed to follow me in the door and as I said hello to friends I attempted to shake off my Tuesday morning blahs. 

I felt especially hormonal as I tried to keep from a complete emotional meltdown during the Beautiful Mess video that our table leaders so graciously put together.  

I'm the mom that walks into a room where my kids are playing and immediately comments on the mess they are making. Comment is a slight understatement. I get a little irrational about it. Do I see them having a good time? Using their imaginations? Getting along for once? Nope. I immediately see the damage. I see toys, clutter, and bedding -- in all the wrong order. I love order, and I hate disorder. Can you tell? 

Anyway, so the video is playing, and I get it. Somehow in the middle of seeing Amy Powell without her makeup, and a nice view of someone's incredibly messy living room, I got it. I saw it, I should say.

I saw beauty. 

It was real. That seemingly nonsensical "theme" for this year's MOPS was not the lie that this order-lover secretly deemed it. And I cried a little. I wanted to cry a lot but then I might have been labeled the "cryer" at my new table and I didn't need that reputation following me around all year...

And then, as if my mind had not been challenged enough, our speaker was introduced and began to say stuff that I'm sure was because she'd been talking to my husband.

(Right?? Did anyone else feel this way?)

She asked: "What is God teaching you about you, when you can't control everything you wish you could control?"

Well, let's see, Susan. God is teaching me that I lack quite a bit of patience, I have anger issues apparently, and I seem to need my life to look orderly, in order to feel that it is orderly. When in reality, it is very disorderly. 

And then that quiet voice spoke truth to me through Susan's words and my own mind's ramblings; God is there in the mess. He loves the disorder in my life, not because it's chaos, because He does not see it as such. He sees my kids playing, and enjoying the toys and home He's blessed them with, and He smiles.

The chaos that I so often see happening around me is, in fact, not chaos at all. But a beautiful orchestration of God's love for me. My children. My blessings. My joy.

And today I choose to take that truth, and hold it tight. This may have been a lesson that you all have learned a long time ago, but this mother of three is having an epiphany. My sense of control is an illusion. And the "control" and "order" that I so desperately want, is not at all what God has for me. Or what I should seek for myself.

He has something so much better. He has given me life. And life, my dear, is very messy. 

Welcome to our New Home!

This is a big year for MOPS @ Big Valley!  We are growing - more tables, more moms, more kids - all able to learn and grow, and be a part of this awesome MOPS community!  We will have inspiring & educational speakers, great topics to encourage and grow us -- and of course, lots of FUN!  

Your new leadership team has been at work already this summer - praying for you, getting prepared for a new year of MOPS.  If you click on the Leadership tab above, you can meet your new leaders!! 


When we start meeting on September 10th, we are moving into a new venue -- The Venue, actually!  This building is on the Tully side of the main church building, and is easy to find with "THE VENUE" on the outside.  Our little MOPPETS will still be in the main building, in their nursery and Ohana Island rooms.  We are excited to welcome you to our new home! 

There are still some fun summer playdates & a great girls night at the end of the month!  Come out and join the fun - and we will see you ALL on September 10th in The Venue! :)

Please let me know if you have any questions - I'm excited to meet you!!

~Heather Blass