Mom of the Month!!

Dana Dabney



Kids

Jack-2years, Noah-5months

Most disliked chore on the household chore list?

I really, really dislike washing windows, so don't look outside when you're in my house.

Tell us about your first road trip in your first car.

Well, since my first car was a 1934 Chevy pickup I couldn't really go on any "road trips." Every ride was an adventure though, thats for sure! When I turned 16 my dad was fixing up the old truck and it was the only spare vehicle at the time, so my parents let me drive it. Nothing like going down the road seeing a 16 year old girl in an old man Hot Rod ;) The only problem was that my mom wouldn't let me drive in the rain because it didn't have windshield wipers.

What do you consider your greatest achievement?

Childbirth (no explanation needed).

Name 1 thing you miss about being a kid.

Growing up I lived in the country and I LOVED playing outside, I could be out there all day (everyday). My imagination would just run wild and I would have so much fun exploring without a care in the world. Sometimes when I look back, I really miss those days.

One piece of encouragement or advice to share with other moms.

My advice to moms is something that I have to remind myself of everyday. Be the same person at home as you are in public. In those moments when you've lost all of your patience and you know you're about ready to explode, try to calm yourself by thinking: "ok...what if other people could see me right now" (when in reality...your children ARE people and they are watching (and learning)). Scary, right? So, I always try to be the same person in the car on the WAY to church as the person who I am IN church (the key word is "try"). I don't always succeed, but that's my hearts desire.



Men's Perspective

I was away this weekend for a little rest & relaxation at the Big Valley Women's Retreat (if you have the opportunity to go next year I would definitely recommend it!), and I must admit it's been a little challenging to get back into the swing of the morning routine which has lately involved way too many appointments and shuffling my two girls back and forth between the two Grandmas.

I am grateful however that I was able to get things together enough this morning to make it to MOPS! I always love my MOPS mornings, the breakfast is the best, but I especially love the wonderful moms whom I get to connect with and the speakers we have the privilege of listening to and learning from.

Men's Panel:

Bobby Kirchner - Superintendent Big Valley Christian School
Jim Jesse - Husband of Mentor Mom Allison
Scott Stubbert - Pastor of Recovery & Single Adult Ministries
Rick Thompson - Pastor of Connect & Grow

A few tidbits they shared with us include the following:

Things men struggle with in marriage...Selfishness, insecurity, priorities, contact with worldly things...Give your husband time and a little slack and PRAY for him like crazy.

When your husband walks in from work...make an effort to give him a minute or two to say "hi" see how his day was and let him decompress for a few minutes so he might be able to switch gears and fully engage with the family.

Try to make an effort to make your husband feel special by leaving little notes or sending a text.

Make date night a priority in your marriage.

Plan times to engage with your spouse...spend time getting to know one another, find mutually interesting subjects.

What will motivate a man to put his family first? Refer to 1 Peter 3 and Ephesians 5 (both relate to the relationship b/w husband & wife), Paraphrased by Rick: Live your life in such a way for your husband just as you would for the Lord...You can win your husband over for the Lord's highest purpose.

If you want to encourage your husband to help out at home...look at your expectations, let them do it their way and try not to criticize their help...they are more likely to help if you release control. Acknowledge their help and let them know you appreciate it.

Advice the men would give themselves if they could go back knowing what they know now...Present is good, but engaged is so much better. You don't have to solve all of the problems on your own...let your spouse help, you are a TEAM.

How to get through Peaks and Valleys in marriage...Matthew 6:33 - Put God first, everything else will follow. When tough decisions or situations arise...Lord, help me right now.

Present a united front, deal with differences once the children are gone and you can discuss the situation with just you & your spouse. Don't belittle each other in front of the kids and don't let kids disrespect the parents.

Husband as the spiritual leader in the family...talk as if he already is and that will give him the desire to be that, encouragement in that direction...not a direct command. RELEASE CONTROL and learn to FOLLOW.

What they have learned about marriage and would like to share:

• The more I pursue Jesus, the better father I am
• Invite male mentors into my life
• We're on the same team, and committed to this
• Rip the word DIVORCE out of your dictionary
• Put the Lord first
• No secrets 
• Seek Godly counsel

How Cookies Apply to My Life (And Yours Too)

I was so glad to make it to MOPS yesterday. Last time my second daughter had a fever (story of my life it seems...). So I showered for you all and showed up clean, dressed and high on the anticipation of adult company.

I've been on a weird (when I say weird I mean horrible) diet lately: no sugar, no wheat.  So when our lovely speaker, Deby Turnrose, started talking about cookies I wasn't sure how I felt about that. Were we really going to talk about the history of the chocolate chip cookie? How did this apply to me? Not only was I living life "sans cookie," I was also really needing a good Mom-to-Mom talking to -- you know?

But then it happened. She started talking to me, not about cookies, but about life. And metaphors. And being an English major myself, I do speak her language quite well.

Deby took us through the ingredients of the cookie, some of the clever "metaphorical" aspects of each ingredient: the flour is the "blah" stuff, it just needs to be there; the sugar is the sweet stuff in life; the eggs are God (3 in one, get it??) Who binds everything in our lives together; the vanilla is the cool stuff -- the creative parts of life, the "extra"something that makes the day worth facing (that's my take on it at least).

But what really made me nod my head in agreement was her take on the salt. Salt is the bitter, sour, ugly things in life. The happenings that make us ask "why??" and maybe challenge our faith at its core.   The things we are certain life could do without. Or could it...?

Deby shared some parts of her life experience with us so openly and graciously, and I was awed by how God took this girl with some really hard stuff to deal with, and turned her into a woman who is clever and bright and talented and has a really wacky sense of humor. I laughed quite a bit, as I'm sure did you.

And so the salt is necessary in the chocolate chip cookie. It makes the sugar sweeter, so our speaker says.

If Deby can say that, then I will try to accept it. It's hard to accept, isn't it? Do the stupid, ugly, "salty" things really need to be in my life? In my past? Or would erasing those experiences only erase something that makes life more beautiful? Am I better for those things? Are you?

The topic definitely leaves us with some food for thought. And Deby left us with cookies...is that a metaphor?

Mom of the Month!

Emily Haley

 

 

Kids:

I have 4 kids!!! Leandra-14, April-10, Dylan-8 & baby Rhett-8 months

 

If you could learn to do anything, what would it be?:

I feel like I should have some great thing to say, but I really don't! I'd like to know how to fashion design and sew!

 

 

If you could stay a certain age forever, what age would it be?:
Honestly, I really enjoy being 30 and would love to stay this age forever!

 

 

What are your 10 favorite things?:
My 10 favorite things: God, my hubby, my babies, reading, dancing, eating, travel, shoes, jewelry and the beach!

 

 

One piece of advice or encouragement for other moms?:
My advice and encouragement for other moms is to not compare yourselves to other moms. I spent a good 6 years striving to be like "so and so and so and so...". This did me no good and caused much disappointment. I've learned to embrace the type of mother and woman I am and focus on improving myself to be who God created me to be- my unique self with unique qualities. 

Spring!

Everywhere we look we are surrounded by the promise of new life.  Trees, once seemingly dead, are now covered with beautiful blossoms.  The cold, infertile land of winter is giving way to a warmer, greener land of hope.  The hope of bearing fruit and reaping harvest.  The hope of taking a life seemingly barren and making it beautiful once again.  This is what spring offers us every year. Her colors amaze us, her beauty inspires us, her new life refreshes us.  Spring is truly a gift from God; it reminds us that He never leaves us the way we are.  God is always about resurrection and new life, the seasons are a constant reminder of this truth.  God uses the barren times of our lives to shape us into the people He knows we can be.  When our lives feel like winter and our future seems bleak, remember spring is coming.  God isn’t done with us, He hasn’t forgotten us, but rather He is perfecting us.  Making us ready, so when our spring comes, we will be healthy enough to bloom.

 2 Corinthians 4:16-18, “Therefore we do not lose heart.  Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.  For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.  So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen.  For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”

GOD'S REDEEMING GRACE

I am so thankful for the transparency of our speaker Pastor Bobby Fisher this morning. What a wonderful testimony of God's grace and redemption. I am in awe of how God's plan is so perfect and how He guides us through our darkest days, and is also there to celebrate with us our greatest joys! God's protection was upon Bobby through his homelessness, drugs, alcohol, anger which led to abuse along with the many other trials he went through. There was a perfect plan in place to bring Bobby & Jill out of their struggles and into God's light.

I loved these thoughts on prayer that Bobby shared with us this morning:

1. Prayer doesn't change God, it changes us.
2. Prayer doesn't empower us, it empowers God to work through us.
3. Prayer isn't measurable, it's mystical.
4. Stop telling God what you want Him to do and let him work through your prayers.

Here are the 3 questions Bobby asked us this morning:

1. Are you praying? on a regular basis, 10-15 minutes specifically spending time praying
2. What are you praying for? God, what do you want to do in my life? 
3. Who are you praying with? Make a commitment to pray for each other

Just this morning one of my friends at MOPS gave me her copy of "Praying God's Word For Your Husband" by Kathi Lipp. I look forward to learning how to pray more effectively for my husband and to experience God's power through prayer. 

Friendship: The Saving Grace of "Me Too"

I don't know about you, but for me yesterday was one of those mornings where I woke up and wasn't sure I would even going to make it out of my PJ's, let alone make it out of the house and to that much-needed MOPS meeting. Here's how God got me over my hurtles on Tuesday:

I woke up to my husband saying "It's 8 o' clock" after having been up most of the night with my youngest daughter who had come down with a high fever.

God-solved: my husband offered to work from home so I could leave my sick kiddo at home.

Next, that darn Daylight Savings time-change has made my morning an hour shorter and I've not had a shower in 2 days and haven't had much sleep to compensate for that.

God-solved: I had a really great hair morning (probably because I didn't sleep much on it) and I decided it didn't need to be washed to be presentable (this doesn't happen very often!).

And also because of the time change, I didn't have time to bring my craft (being the craft-leader and all), or the fruit I should have brought for breakfast sharing, and (gasp!) I didn't have time to make coffee.

God-solved: I let go of the "shoulda's" for the morning and instead put on a dress, slapped on some deodorant and got myself to the nearest Starbucks drive thru. They were so fast getting all the caffeine-starved customers through the line that I was only 5 minutes late for MOPS (score!).

Then I was able to forget for 2 hours that my daughter had a fever, or that I needed a shower, and instead had breakfast, laughed, and shared some great "me too" conversation with my table ladies. 

That video of that speaker I can't remember the name of (because I'm sleep-deprived, remember?), was so great, wasn't it? Friendships, and having girlfriends to share our not-perfectness with, and opening our lives up to women who really care about us is such a gift. My major "God-solved" moment on Tuesday wasn't the hair, or my husband (though I love him!), or the Starbucks I had. It was that I got to MOPS and told my friends about my morning, and what I was going through, and how I had failed to meet my own expectations of myself; and they said "me too." And then we took pictures with cool props and were silly --- and who doesn't need to just be silly every so often??

I'm not alone; you're not alone. Take a risk, take a chance and trust someone with the stuff you wish you weren't dealing with. Chances are, they will welcome your openness and you both will be blessed when she says, "Me too!"