Sunday, January 6, 2019

RESPECT

R.E.S.P.E.C.T

Well my Christmas Décor is packed away; the New Year is among us. It seems most people are saying goodbye to the “bad” of 2018 and embracing the hope for 2019. As I take a moment today to reflect on the last 365 days, I can not help and feel contentment.

Personally, I know how devastating this year has been for some of my closest friends. Some have lost loved ones after a long battle with health issues, others have separated from long relationships/marriages, another handful lost the heartbeat of the child they have not yet met but loved so dearly, additional individuals lost jobs, homes, along with hopes and dreams that they had anticipated for 2018.

I know how hard some years can be, some years where you hope desperately, they leave behind all the darkness that year held. I remember having, what seemed to be year after year of devastation. I recall frantically having an DNC the last week of 2012 after learning I had lost my child earlier that month. 2012 had already brought Mom’s cancer and losing a child, was just the icing 2012 needed, so I made sure all the “bad” would stay that year. 2014 Mom died on December 23rd and I was not going to let 2015 have her burial, so we begged and pleaded for us to bury her before the year ended… I know hard years and wanting to leave them behind, so with that I will give myself permission to continue this post.

2018 has brought contentment. Everything was not perfect and rosy, but it was not devastating either. I think for the first time in my life, I have given myself permission to look at the good the year brought, instead of focusing on the bad I was leaving behind.

Our speaker on our last meeting had so many great moments on stage and even though it seemed to be two different areas she spoke about, for me it all undertone one word, RESPECT.

RESPECT- A FEELING OF DEEP ADMIRATION FOR SOMEONE OR SOMETHING ELICITED BY THEIR ABILITIES, QUALITIES, OR ACHIEVEMENTS.

Respect for others is extremely important and not to be taken lightly. I think when we think of this word, we usually associate it with how we respond to someone else. Wendee focused on the word internally; to RESPECT oneself. To allow one permission to put one first and give your being the respect it deserved. All over the Bible, self-respect is talked about.

“I am fearfully and wonderfully made”- would I not respect something that is made wonderfully by God?

“So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.” – would I not respect something God created in HIS own image? 

Why don’t we give ourselves the respect we deserve? Why do we sacrifice and to the point DISRESPECT ourselves, to make someone else happy?

Wendee referenced a line from the book titled 7 Things Every Healthy relationship Needs, “Respect Yourself. Respect is crucial to relational health. And again, you can’t respect anyone else if you don’t first respect yourself.” 

To respect oneself, is not conceded or unloving to another, it is a healthy way to learn to be a better individual. It will teach you how to love others better if you love and respect yourself. If you put you and your family first. She mentions how she leaves for Christmas to allow herself the time she needs to focus on the holiday and respect her external family needs to build their own traditions and not feel the pressure and fear the holidays can bring. This is one of the ways she has helped herself and her family. This may not be for everyone and I know her well enough to know she is not saying to everyone to ditch their extended family on the Holidays. I do believe what she was saying is give yourself the permission to respect your needs and wants during this season and in life in general.

So, I am RESPECTING myself enough to look at 2018 and focus on the good. I am not going to look at what failed, for it is so easy for me to pick on myself and what I could have done better. I am respecting myself enough to say, “Yessie, it was a good year.”

So, what happened to me in 2018, well I grew as a woman. I learned to love harder and seek friendships. We paid off a lot of debt by budgeting and working super hard. I made the decision to close some doors with unhealthy relationships in order for the “possibility” of them to be opened again in a healthier and much deeper way, or for them to remain closed as they might have been toxic. I started to blog and write more, to allow all my thoughts to be put into words and actions. Finally, I allowed 2018 not to dictate me but for me to dictate it!

I recently heard a quote from Gisele Bundchen. “The mind is an instrument, don’t let it play you, you play the instrument!”

What a great reminder of how much we can control our mind and perspective.

So Happy New Year, embrace whatever 2018 had written for you and prepare yourself for 2019.

Let’s start off with embracing this definition of RESPECT.

RESPECT- A FEELING OF DEEP ADMIRATION FOR YOURSELF ELICITED BY YOUR ABILITIES, QUALITIES, OR ACHIEVEMENTS. 

Much Love and Respect,

Yessie J. 

No comments:

Post a Comment