Thursday, November 16, 2017

MOPs Mentor Mom Panel


First, I want to thank our fabulous mentor moms for being willing to sit before us and be vulnerable; for stepping out of their comfort zone to share their wisdom, their mistakes, and their journey through motherhood!  You were such a blessing to so many of us moms that morning and we thank you from the bottom of our hearts!

I love that we have mentor moms! And no, their job isn’t just to show up and bring an egg dish.  Our MOPs group is so very blessed to be able to have so many different mentor moms from so many different walks of life with a multitude of tried and true tips and tricks!  Sitting on the stage before us was a fantastic testimony of God’s work through the variety of amazing women who are still walking the motherhood journey, just a little further down the road from us.

With all of the hundreds of resources online available to us (sometimes feeling shoved down our throats) it is easy to feel like you are alone and lost in the sea of information, or feel like you “got this” mother thing and don’t need any help from anyone.  I definitely relate to the first one by the way.  Either way, we have lost the apparent need for community and relationship and mentorship. 

I feel like our generation was given two roads of motherhood: the first being well worn and smooth with clearly marked hazard signs and the second being a dense jungle with no warning signs of dangers ahead, and you better have a freshly sharpened machete or you ain't goin’ nowhere very quickly! 
That first smooth path with the occasional bump is the one where we are looking ahead to the women who have gone before us! We learn from their mistakes, take in a bit of their wisdom, and when in need of help, there are tea shops lining the path!  
The second path, jungle dense and full of booby traps, is the path a lot of us have felt the need to take.  Alone and without a clear idea of where the path should even go.  Well meaning parenting techniques bombard you from every side and you no longer can make a confident decision about what your child can eat because apparently everything will give them cancer. You scour the internet and books and magazines trying to make a plan of attack, trying to understand what will be best for your family and you feel like you are drowning and alone.  

Meanwhile, your fellow motherhood sisters are making their way down the clearly marked path lined with tea shops where they stop once in awhile gaining wisdom and snagging tidbit tips left from the moms who have gone before them.  Sure there are still struggles and bumps and full on middle of the grocery store with a full cart tantrums, but at least they feel prepared and surrounded by fellow moms sharing in the same hike.  

Which path are you currently on? Which path do you want to be on?  

As for me and my circus, the path well traveled and tested is the one for me.  Sure, not everything will fit our family, and maybe I’ll try something that totally flops, but I will know I am surrounded by friends.

And remember, while there are those freshly showered moms with their second cup of hot coffee in hand just ahead of the mothering journey from us, there are also those who are just behind where our trail marker stands.  They are the ones with the sweet smelling newborn in their arms, blissfully unaware of the grocery store meltdowns but are bleary eyed from only getting two hours of sleep last night.  There are the moms who can’t seem to see the light at the end of the toy packed tunnel and if she steps on one more LEGO in the middle of the night she will lose her mind.  The mom whose special needs babe takes absolutely all of her waking moments and some of the sleeping ones too, who feels alone and misunderstood.  

Last Tuesday morning we all walked away with bits of wisdom and hope from our mentor moms, but I also hope that it will remind us to pause and look around at the other moms near by.  Who’s the mom you can ask for help from when you are stuck in a tough parenting situation that she’s already been through?  Where is the mom right there next to you on the path that you can reach over and pat on the back as you both drag your flailing toddler out of the store?  And who is the mom just behind you, who needs to be shown a little hope amidst the growing piles of diapers and handed a hot cup of coffee?  

We were not created to do this motherhood journey alone.  We were beautifully and intricately made by a God who favors the relationship.  

This week my prayer would be that we remember that.  

“May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you the same attitude of mind toward each other that Christ Jesus had.” -Romans 15:5
“And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.”-Hebrews 10:24-25
“3 And here’s what I want you to teach the older women: Be respectful. Steer clear of gossip or drinking too much so that you can teach what is good 4 to young women. Be a positive example, showing them what it is to love their husbands and children, and teaching them to 5 control themselves in every way and to be pure. Train them to manage the household, to be kind, and to be submissive to their husbands, all of which honor the word of God.”  -Titus 2:3-5 (voice)

-Mallory

Saturday, November 4, 2017

Let Love be the Loudest Voice


It's pretty loud in my house right now, so I have relaxing nature music on, on YouTube haha. Annnyyyway, I'm really not sure where to start on this post. As I've been thinking this week about what I might write, I haven't been able to get out of my head that love has not been my loudest voice throughout my life. Irritation, impatience, whining, selfishness… these are some of what my loudest voice has been, and it hurts to be typing this. While it bothers me that I've lived like that, it stirs in me the desire to keep seeking the Lord for help to keep growing through it and past it. Oh, I'm so weak on my own. 

In her testimony, Love used the term "generational dysfunction" to describe unhealthy repetitive patterns that are present in a family tree. I do not want to pass my generational dysfunction on. I want it to stop with me, and I want a new (functioning) pattern to start with my family.

Love is hard for me. In my eyes, I'm hard to love, and it's hard for me to show love. Honestly, I don't know why. But thankfully, I don't have to. What I do know, is Jesus loves me and He is working on my heart and refining me day by day to be more like Him. I struggle, but He meets me there and gives me the strength to try again. And again. Him showing me love and grace is teaching me to show love and grace. 


Something that has been encouraging me is… when my little Abby was learning to walk, I would tell her, "Stand up and walk, stand up and walk", and I remember God teaching me through that, really the same thing; to "stand up and walk". To trust Him and get out of my comfort zone and try things I've wanted to try but never believed in myself enough to. That, if only I knew the goodness that awaited me once I "started walking"; I would try. Being her Mama, I knew Abby could do it and that once she did she woudn't stop. I believe it's similar to having a relationship with God (with the exception that I'm wee lil' me who doesn't know much, and He knows everything). He's the Father, and He knows what goodness awaits for His children. I hope all that makes sense!

Psalm 37:23-24 NIV
The Lord makes firm the steps of the one who delights in him; though he may stumble, he will not fall, for the Lord upholds him with his hand.

Mark 10:27 NIV
Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but not with God; all things are possible with God."

Jeremiah 29:11 NIV
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

-Heidi M.