POPS at MOPS

           Our last MOPS meeting had to be one of my favorites. What woman doesn’t want to know what is going on in a man’s mind?! C’mon ladies you know we’ve all said, “What was he thinking?!”, at least once…a day. There was a lot of valuable information shared. I am going to try my best to cover a few good points that stood out to me.

1. Love Language

If you haven’t taken the love language quiz do it now! I can’t be the only one that assumed that my husband's love language was physical touch, right? We took the quiz together and, although that was one of them, there was more that he wanted from me and physical touch is more than I thought it was. Showing love for our husbands can be easier than we thought. Physical touch can be holding hands, sitting close together, cuddling, and yes ladies “other stuff” too. A husband that feels loved by receiving gifts can feel special when you make your weekly or daily (no judgments!) Target trip and you come home with his favorite snack or some new shirts because you thought of him and knew he needed them! Quality Time and Words of Affirmation are self-explanatory, but they should not be overlooked. Mallory’s husband gave us all a good reminder that we should make time for one another as a couple because in the day to day hustle of life our marriages can be overlooked. We all need that time to decompress and be together.

2. Nagging

A lot of our questions were about how not to be a nag. One of our Men’s Panel members told us a story about how he left the heater on in an empty house overnight. His wife called to let him know and she made a joke out of it. How we approach situations can help our husbands feel encouraged, loved, and respected. Do you have a husband that can’t disconnect from his phone or from work while at home? Invite him to join in on some family activities like board games or movie nights instead of mumbling under your breath about how annoying that habit is. Encourage your husband. Let him know how much his help means to you. He might not understand that by serving the kids a bowl of cereal while you race to get dressed he is making your morning smoother. Let him into your mind. There were so many good quotes during this meeting. One of my favorites was “expectations are premeditated resentments”. We expect sometimes and then we are angry when things don’t happen our way. I’m totally guilty of this. “Why didn’t he switch the laundry to the dryer? He was home all day, he heard it too.” Remember to give your husband grace. God does that for us daily no matter how many times we fall. Why would we think that our spouse isn’t just as deserving? Communication is so important but remembering to be kind while communicating is huge!  

3. R-E-S-P-E-C-T

You know what it means to him or maybe you don’t. Husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church, and wives submit to your husbands (Ephesians 5:22-25).  Did you know that your husband's highest need is to feel respected? I had no idea and it really made me evaluate what I have been doing. Am I disrespecting my husband by challenging decisions in front of the kids or making jokes about things that he may feel insecure about? We have to be a team. I think almost all of the men on stage stated that they felt encouraged and loved most when their wives had their back. Our words and actions have a big effect on the leaders of our home. Let them know you trust them and respect them.

4. Physical Intimacy

Yes, we are going there ladies. The biggest point I took from this topic was to not use sex as a weapon. Don’t refuse it because he said something you didn’t like earlier and you feel he doesn’t deserve it. 1 Corinthians 7:4 says “The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife." Although you may not be in the mood for it give it a shot. Your mood may change in the process. Also, ladies it is important to remember that sex is more than a physical act. It is a spiritual, emotional, and physical act. If your sex life is off evaluate all other aspects. Maybe there is something that can be worked on to improve your physical intimacy level.

Over all what I kept hearing in my head as I wrote this and prayed about it is that we all want the same thing just in different ways. We all want a happy family, a loving marriage, and to grow old with our best friend and biggest supporter. I feel that it is easy to forget to nurture our marriages in the business of motherhood and sometimes our hubbies can be left feeling a bit neglected. I challenge you all to do one thing pertaining to your husbands love language and remind him that he is still the only one for you!

-Ana