Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Men's Perspective

I was away this weekend for a little rest & relaxation at the Big Valley Women's Retreat (if you have the opportunity to go next year I would definitely recommend it!), and I must admit it's been a little challenging to get back into the swing of the morning routine which has lately involved way too many appointments and shuffling my two girls back and forth between the two Grandmas.

I am grateful however that I was able to get things together enough this morning to make it to MOPS! I always love my MOPS mornings, the breakfast is the best, but I especially love the wonderful moms whom I get to connect with and the speakers we have the privilege of listening to and learning from.

Men's Panel:

Bobby Kirchner - Superintendent Big Valley Christian School
Jim Jesse - Husband of Mentor Mom Allison
Scott Stubbert - Pastor of Recovery & Single Adult Ministries
Rick Thompson - Pastor of Connect & Grow

A few tidbits they shared with us include the following:

Things men struggle with in marriage...Selfishness, insecurity, priorities, contact with worldly things...Give your husband time and a little slack and PRAY for him like crazy.

When your husband walks in from work...make an effort to give him a minute or two to say "hi" see how his day was and let him decompress for a few minutes so he might be able to switch gears and fully engage with the family.

Try to make an effort to make your husband feel special by leaving little notes or sending a text.

Make date night a priority in your marriage.

Plan times to engage with your spouse...spend time getting to know one another, find mutually interesting subjects.

What will motivate a man to put his family first? Refer to 1 Peter 3 and Ephesians 5 (both relate to the relationship b/w husband & wife), Paraphrased by Rick: Live your life in such a way for your husband just as you would for the Lord...You can win your husband over for the Lord's highest purpose.

If you want to encourage your husband to help out at home...look at your expectations, let them do it their way and try not to criticize their help...they are more likely to help if you release control. Acknowledge their help and let them know you appreciate it.

Advice the men would give themselves if they could go back knowing what they know now...Present is good, but engaged is so much better. You don't have to solve all of the problems on your own...let your spouse help, you are a TEAM.

How to get through Peaks and Valleys in marriage...Matthew 6:33 - Put God first, everything else will follow. When tough decisions or situations arise...Lord, help me right now.

Present a united front, deal with differences once the children are gone and you can discuss the situation with just you & your spouse. Don't belittle each other in front of the kids and don't let kids disrespect the parents.

Husband as the spiritual leader in the as if he already is and that will give him the desire to be that, encouragement in that direction...not a direct command. RELEASE CONTROL and learn to FOLLOW.

What they have learned about marriage and would like to share:

  • The more I pursue Jesus, the better father I am
  • Invite male mentors into my life
  • We're on the same team, and committed to this
  • Rip the word DIVORCE out of your dictionary
  • Put the Lord first
  • No secrets 
  • Seek Godly counsel

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