Hush Little Baby, Mama's Gonna Buy You a Mercedes if you go to Sleep

"Rock a bye baby, in the tree top
When the wind blows the cradle will rock,
When the bough breaks the cradle will fall,
and down will come baby, cradle and all"

That's some dark stuff right there.

But we've all been as desperate for our baby to sleep as the lyricist to that ancient nursery rhyme.
If my baby would only sleep through the night....
If my 2 year old wouldn't climb into bed and kick me in the head all night...
If my 4 year old wouldn't wake me up at 3 in the morning asking where her hoodie is... (this literally happened last night and she doesn't own a hoodie currently)

But alas the struggle truly is real, Ladies.
I feel like my main goal as a mom is to get my children to sleep. Okay kids let's eat this meal at this time, play at this park, have this playdate, and so on and so forth and then you precious children will sleep like angels tonight! Thank you to the good Lord for bedtime!

Last week we were graced with the presence of an honest to goodness Sleep Expert. The lovely Jo Anna Inks. When I heard she was coming to share with us I honestly thought..."Oh this will be good for all of those young new Mamas."
You see I am an old old Mama, with four children of varying ages and I've always had pretty great sleepers. So what could I really learn?

And then I was humbled.
(Why is it that all of my blog posts have this common thread? Apparently I need a good kick in the pants)

Jo Anna had some amazing tips.

1/ Watch the Waking Hours
Babies get over tired very easily, if they are grumpy they are probably TIRED!

2/ Don't Be Afraid of the Dark
Humans, and babies, sleep better in the dark.

3/ Be Predictable
Babies and Toddlers love a predictable routine. A predictable bedtime lets your child know what's coming.

4/ Feed After Naps, Not Before
Number one reason babies/toddlers don't sleep is the connection they have formed with needing to eat to fall asleep.

5/ Same Place, Same Time
Have your child sleep in the same place and the same time everyday. Nap time and bed time should be in the same place too.

I ran into Jo Anna in the bathroom after her talk and told her about my one year old, Holiday. She had been waking up at 5 or six in the morning and I do not like waking early, at all. I put Holly down at 7pm like clock work every night, Jo Anna suggested trying a 6:30 bedtime. This morning she woke up at 8 am y'all!!!
Oh happy day!!!

You guys there was just so very many good tips that Jo Anna had for us. I highly recommend you give her a call.
1 (209) 813-0609.

Good Night Sweet Hearts,
Summur

Rhonda Stoppe: There Is Hope

Rhonda Stoppe speaks like a woman with “No Regrets.” Not like a woman who wishes her life had been different. Not like a woman who hasn’t made mistakes. She doesn’t preach like a woman who holds onto pain, and she doesn’t speak the Word like a woman who doesn’t understand It’s power.

Instead, she spoke at MOPS on Tuesday like a woman who’s seen a lot, if not “it all.” A woman who has had to go before the throne of God on WAY more than one occasion, to ask for very large things.

Like Forgiveness. Like Grace. Like healing. Like Love for her enemies. Like strength when she feels the most thin, and the most weak, and the most unable.

She spoke like a Mother. Like you and I.

When I hear the phrase “No Regrets,” it triggers all of my regret. I think, well, that’s not me, lady! I have stuff. I have things that I wish I could erase or do-over. But the more I hear the definition of “The No Regrets Woman,” according to Rhonda, the more I realize that IS me. That’s all of us. Or, it can be, if we choose it.

One way we can choose to have a No Regrets Life, is to look at our lives like a story. Like a narrative, still being written.

Often I look back on events past, and think about the decisions I made, and looking in on those little moments in time can be discouraging. But then I look at those events, mixed in with those moments of rescue by God, those times when I was at my lowest, and someone came to help me. I remember moments where it seemed hopeless, and a stranger saw me and gave me words of encouragement in a college bathroom. I remember being halfway across the country, and another believer took me into their home and treated me like family.

I still look at my hurt, I remember those who hurt me.

But I remember those who helped me more. And I know that those moments were God showing up. He never left.

He shows up in our stories. If we look for Him, we will most certainly find Him there.

And the beauty is that our stories aren’t done yet. He isn’t finished! When the little moments get me down, or I feel worn, or tired, or unappreciated, I will remember this is only a tiny part of a greater story of God’s goodness in my life.

I have hope to be a No-Regrets woman. And so do you, sister.

-Char

Sharing the Joy of Books

Last week we were inspired to take our children, and our grandkids, on trips to foreign lands; to meet kings and queens, rulers and emperors, Indians in the Cupboard and Very Hungry Caterpillars. We were told we could have a P.H.D. by being a Parent who Has Desire to share the love of books and reading with our children.

I was struck by the generational passion for books that was so evident in this family. Cheryl had a mom who read to her, then she read to her children and now they are reading to their children. In the Bible we read about generational sin, sin that affects the 3rd or 4th generation. How wonderful to think about a positive generational habit to pass down to the 3rd or 4th generation and beyond.......the love of reading & books.

We were asked to think about some questions so I will highlight a couple.

1. How do I instill in my children a desire & excitement for books?
Start young! Train early!
Set aside time to read and remember that a busy schedule is a deterrent to reading!
Reading is the honey for your child's soul- sweetness of life, and we are capable of giving honey to our children even if it's only 10 minutes a day.
One book recommendation was Honey For A Child's Heart by Gladys Hunt.

2. Where do I find good books?
Visit the library, church and city libraries.....frequently & regularly. Go to story time, get them their own library card and let them pick out some of the books. Be sure to get books on tape for car rides and always have a book with you for doctor appointments or waiting in pickup lines.  There's also second hand book stores, Amazon Used Books as well as trading books with friends and family. Be sure to buy some books for your children to own - this will be the beginning of their library. Try buying books for each of the holidays and when you bring them out year after year a tradition will be born.

We were given ideas of practical times to read to our children:
During breakfast read a devotional.
During lunch show picture books.
During snacks after school, read them chapters from a novel.
During bedtime read more stories as everyone gets cozy and winds down.
Let them read in bed and never use their reading time as discipline.
Remember that reading leads to better writers & listeners and reading is the key to true learning.

We were challenged to be a commercial for reading by putting down our devices and model "SQUIRT- silent, quiet, un-interrupted, reading time". There are so many benefits to reading to or with your children including bonding with them and having an avenue to teach them your faith and values.

So with a B.A.- Better Attitude, a B.S.- Believing Spirit, a M.A.S.T.'R.- Make A Special Time to Read; you will end up with a P.H.D. Let's be passionate parents about reading and sharing the joy of books. Well I'm off to join Pa & Ma and their daughters Mary, Laura and Baby Carrie as they leave the Big Woods of Wisconsin to move West to Indian Country.
Happy reading!

-Ginny

Traditions: Simplify and Enjoy

With two young kids, 5 and 2, I have been grappling with the question: did I get them enough?  I started the Christmas season with a plan to buy a large Santa present for each of them and just a couple small gifts.  I thought I would do the four gifts that I had read about on Facebook last year, but when telling my friend my plan, I realized I only knew the first three gifts to give.  I knew it was something like: something they want, something they need, something to read and then, huh, no clue.  Even with an almost flawless gift giving plan, I still find myself doubting my choice to keep it simple.  And, it is not just with presents.  Honestly, if I did not have the expertise of mentor moms, speakers like Marti Boone and my own mother, I would be a mess through Christmas trying to do and buy everything.  Being overindulged, over-scheduled and overwhelmed is not the way I want my Christmases to be.  I realize now keeping Christmas simple, enjoying family traditions and remembering what Christmas is really about is the greatest gift I can give to my family.

Our guest speaker, Marti Boone, gave me an answer to my gift giving conundrum and that answer is the same one my mom has been saying to me the day my daughter was born.  Simplify.  It is just as exhausting for me to live my over-complicated life as it is for my mom to hear about it.  I already live a hectic life with a husband that travels for work a fourth of the year and two young kids; I am trying to make those unbearable moments into teachable moments.  As much as I am told to keep it simple, I find myself exhausted from over doing it.  It is easy for me to say I am only going to do the traditions that are important to my family, but actually following through takes self-control and not falling into the pressures around me.  I have to really think about my family’s needs and what we can and can’t do during the Christmas season and what is truly important for my family.  The tool that Marti shared has my name written all over it.  The simple T chart, with things I need to do on one side and things I want to do on the other side is exactly what I need to keep my family from being over-scheduled.  If I get to just one thing on the want side, it will be an added bonus.  It is the first way I am going to keep it simple. 

A second way to keep it simple is by focusing on Christmas as the season of giving and Christ our Savior being born.  By making traditions like going to church and sharing with others, our children will learn from us the true meaning of Christmas.  It is our job to teach our children that doing for others is the greatest gift.  Marti shared multiple ways to do this throughout the holiday season.   She suggested making goodies and sharing them around the neighborhood, visiting older people who may not have family around, and to consider giving to Angel Tree, an organization for kids who have a parent who is incarcerated.  By involving our kids in sharing we are teaching them that Jesus is the reason for the season.

Lastly, expect​ ​the​ ​unexpected during the holidays and in life in general.  Unlucky for my family, I experienced this first hand over Thanksgiving.  My daughter woke up with strep throat and we spent the day trying to get antibiotics for her.  It was not what I had envisioned, but we made the best of it.  I was glad that Thanksgiving was not at our house this year and my husband and I were able to make it work.  He went to Thanksgiving number one at our uncle’s house and I went to Thanksgiving number two at Grandma and Grandpa’s house.  All the while, my son went to both and was a trooper even without his typical nap.  It all worked out, my daughter got better and I learned a valuable lesson: it is not in my control.  As much as I plan for this Christmas, things may not go according to plan and that is okay.   

Keeping it simple is not the only way I am enjoying this Christmas season.  As a relatively new mom, I am working on my family Christmas traditions.  I grew up in a family that has traditions and those traditions are what we remember as adults.  Off the top of my head, it was two Christmas trees (one for the kids and one for my mom), crab for Christmas eve, Christmas movies galore and candlelight service at church.  It has changed as we have gotten older, but those memories feel good and I want my children to reflect on their traditions when they are older.  One tradition I want to try (*and maybe you do, too) is Marti’s ginger cookies.  Her ginger cookies were the gift she sent to her son, Todd, when his ship docked in Virginia.  She was unable to deliver them herself, but her family friends were going there for Christmas and were able to surprise Todd.  Marti also shared a Christmas tree tradition and it had us in tears.  Her tree is not a Pinterest tree, instead her tree has ornaments that have been in her life for over forty years.  Not all of them are beautiful to the naked eye, but beautiful to the beholder.  One ornament was made by Joel, her son, in 1981 the day he invited Jesus into his life.  Another was a paper chain made by her and her brother.  Four months later her brother passed, and on her mother's tree the chain has hung for many years.  It is missing links, but it is a special memory that makes the tree complete.  This tradition is beautiful and I am glad it was shared with us. 

Ultimately, we all strive to have a loving, sharing, and caring Christmas.  Hearing from others about Christmas reminds us what we know is true in our hearts.  Christmas is about Jesus Christ being born.  My hope is that all of us can enjoy Christmas with our loved ones this year.  Merry Christmas.

“Let not our hearts be busy inns that have no room for Thee, But cradles for the Living Christ and His nativity”

*Big Soft Ginger Cookies
2 ¼ cups all purpose flour
2 tsp. ground ginger
1 tsp baking soda
¾ tsp ground cinnamon
½ tsp ground cloves
¼ tsp salt
¾ c margarine, butter or shortening
1 cup sugar
1 egg
¼ c molasses
2 tbsp sugar
-Combine flour, ginger, soda, cinnamon, cloves, and salt; set aside
-In large bowl beat margarine, butter or shortening with an electric mixer on low speed for 30 seconds to soften.  Gradually add the 1 cup sugar, beat till fluffy.  Add egg and molasses; beat well.  Stir dry ingredients into beaten mixture.
-Chill dough before shaping into balls.  Shape into 1 ½ -inch balls (1 heaping tablespoon of dough each).  Roll in the 2 tablespoons of sugar and place on ungreased cookie sheet about 2 ½ inches apart.
-Bake in a 350° oven about 10 minutes or till light brown and still puffed.  (Do not overcook.)  Let stand for 2 minutes before transferring to a wire rack.  Cool.  Makes 24 three inch cookies.

- Amanda

Dear Mama,

"It takes a village to raise a child" has always been one of my most hated quotes. I've seen the village and I don't want them coming near my children. But there is some truth to the quote. We need women who have gone before us to come along side us and offer suggestions, guidance and prayer, lots of prayer. I guess I have been so opposed to the village idea from early on in my motherhood journey. Before I had kids I knew exactly how I would raise my kids and how they would turn out. I was a Nanny after all, how different could it be (hardy har har). After I had little babies I was still resistant to all the advice, much of it was so overwhelming. As my gals have gotten older and I have been able to hear things a little better, hopefully my pride has waned a bit.

Last Tuesday we were blessed to hear from our mentor Mamas. If we should listen to anyone it should most definitely be them, godly women who have been in the trenches. They had many excellent tidbits for training and raising our precious babes.The two that stuck with me and convicted me the most were the advice to cherish our kiddos, and Erin's advice on staying in the Word.

It is so hard to cherish these times. Yet all the Mentor Mamas echoed that we do just that. My motherhood pendulum can swing back and forth daily from feeling head over heels in love with my kids to anger, frustration and planning my escape to Mexico at any moment. But it is so true that it happens so fast. Isn't that the number one thing we hear after we have babies from fellow Mamas...'it will go by so fast.' I have a 9 year old you guys, and she has her nose in a book almost all day and an eye roll at the ready. But those moments that she lets me cuddle her, I take those in. Breathe them in, Mamas breathe in that baby sleeping on your chest. That toddler running towards you with arms up...breathe it all in. It truly is like the blink of an eye.

And the most convicting part of the panel last week was Erin's Pitcher, Cup & Saucer analogy. God is the pitcher pouring into us as we draw near to Him. Only after we have been filled by Him can our overflow spill out onto those around us. Eeekk, knife through the heart. Lately my time alone with God has been pretty dry. Then I went to church on Sunday and the sermon was on parenting. Our Pastor was going over and over again on the importance of our relationship with God and how it affects our parenting. (Okay Lord, I hear ya). And isn't that so true? We can't do this parenting thing alone. Yes, we need advice from Mamas who have gone before us, but most importantly we need the Lord. We need to be seeking Him daily so we can pour out kindness, goodness, patience, self-control and love on our babies.

So yes I fail daily, no one is a perfect person or Mama. But thankfully today is a new day. A day to spend time with God, even if it's just 10 minutes. A day to cherish these babies and show them how much we love them. Breathe it in Mamas, as you hustle and bustle around with your busy day. Stop and take in these moments. Because those are the most important things we will do all day. Talking to God and loving our babies is our most important work.

-Summur

Hospitality

Hospitality. I love it. It’s my jam, as it is my mom’s, my grandmother’s and so on. I was raised in a very hospitable family. But, we tended to be more of the Martha’s than the Mary’s, always being busy little bees with some impertinent detail that just couldn’t wait. My dear grandmother will still miss half of a party because she’s too busy cleaning up the kitchen! I would work myself into a tizzy trying to make sure every area of my house was picked up and everything laid out just so….I had an impression to make ya know!

Then I had children. Three of the most spirited, adventurous whirlwind kids came into my life and hospitality took on a whole new look. I still love to have people over, and throwing a good party with detailed decorations is still so much fun, but I’ve also learned to let go and let em’ in!

Hospitality in this stage in my life has become “Come on in! Have some coffee, kick off your shoes and let the kids make a mess!” There will probably be dishes in my sink, and a whole weeks worth of laundry piled on my bed. My kids will most likely only be half dressed, but
welcome to our home! This is us doing life and we’d love to do it with you!

Now, I know I may sound carefree and crazy, not caring that your sock just got stuck to some sticky substance on my kitchen floor, but I’m only human. I still struggle with the need to perform, to seem like I have it all together. Pinterest oozes from my home. (I just spent the
last 30 minutes picking up my house before our Heating guy shows up. For the love.) But over the past few years hospitality has evolved into moments of being genuine, making the connection and making sure everyone feels at home. It no longer means an immaculate house, perfectly obedient children and a face with makeup...It means opening my home and my heart to whomever walks through my door with whatever condition myself or my home may be in. Truly listening, wanting to understand and being there for that person who has taken a seat on our well loved couch.

I have a dear friend who I treasure doing life with. We can both look/smell atrocious, our house a health hazard and our kids complete disasters, but if the other one needs some company, a word of encouragement or a safe place to regroup/gather themselves, our door is
always open. It has been a lifesaver on more than one occasion.

The “image” and obsession over details that don’t truly matter has always been a
struggle for me, which is why I think it’s funny that God called me to help lead our MOPS Hospitality! As soon as I was asked, I immediately started thinking about all the decorations and fun little details we could do, but then God grabbed me lovingly by the heart and reminded me
that it’s not about the frills and the fancy and the matching tablecloths...it’s about you, the women who walk through our doors, each with a beautiful and unique story. I know I still have a lot to learn, and there will still be days I struggle with giving my heart to the things that really
matter, but it is my prayer that each and every woman that comes into our MOPS family feels welcomed, safe and loved. There may not be a pinterest worthy decoration or game, but I will always have open arms and a cup of coffee waiting for you!

- Mallory

KINDa A Hard One

Kindness!!! Well, my whole blog post that I wrote, and spent a long time on I might add, was erased by one of my children. Breathe in, 2, 3, 4........ breathe out! Oh Jesus help me to be kind. Argggghh!

This morning Pastor Tim Giannosa spoke on Kindness and it was many good things: funny, inspiring and especially for me, CONVICTING!!! Anyone else?

I am a verbal processor which basically means I have zero filter, things fly from my mouth, some good, some negative and some hurtful. For me it is easy to be kind to others, unless you live with me then, well, the verbal diarrhea flows and flows. Oh how I wish I could take back so very many hurtful things I have said to my husband and my children. My husband gets all my moody attitude and my girls have heard many unkind tones come out of me. Oh yes, I can go back and apologize but words stick, how you treat someone sticks. Pastor Tim shared about how his hatred grew as his step-father's words stuck with him. I also remember horrible things my mother said to me, or about me, and our relationship is highly damaged, to the point where there isn't much of one at all now.

The good news is I am not alone in this struggle. You are not alone too. We can't do this in our own will, or by our own strength. He uses these struggles to grow and strengthen us.
There were 4 main points that Pastor Tim shared about. I will attempt to give a synopsis of here...

'All Amazing acts of Kindness will have....

1. Patience.
Kindness is rarely developed, or fine tuned, in the good times. It is easy to be kind when things are going well. On hard days it is really easy to be a jerk. Kindness will be developed and tested during the boiling points of frustration, especially during those times of people failing you again and again and yet again. In these moments, we can take from the Spirit what He has given us. Love is Patient.

2. Sacrifice.
You need to Sacrifice something to be kind. It doesn't cost a lot to change someones life but it does take sacrifice. Some sort of sacrifice. Will you sacrifice your time, your money, your resources.

3. Words.
Focus on your words. The tongue has the power of life and death. Proverbs 31:26 says, "she opens her mouth with wisdom, and on her tongue is the law of Kindness." Jesus is the Word. Guard your words and be extra careful with what you say in the hard moments.

4. Forgiveness.
Ephesians 4:32 says, "And be Kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you."
Forgive others in the same way God forgave you. Bestow grace upon people. Hold nothing against another person.'

Ladies, it was so easy to hear this message and allow lies to come into my head  "I am a bad mother a bad wife a bad friend". But these things are just not true. We need to forgive ourselves for things we have done and ask God to help us to be more kind. He will! We can do all things through Him! I love how Pastor Tim gave us practical ways we can practice being kind. With the Holy Spirit on our side there is nothing to stop us!

-Summur